It's been a week since I lost the baby and well i haven't been feeling to good about it.I honestly don't think jay cares. He's been talking about let's go here or let's got there. Instead of comforting me. Ugh. I swear. Anyways every day i've been going to the studio and scheduling concert dates. I have just been so busy. I decided to go to my mom's house today. I arrive to my mom's house and ty and solange and my nephew Julez were all there. He is getting so big. I walk in the house and was greeted by everyone.
Solange:JuJu
Ty: Hey Heifer
MamaT: Hey Babygirl
Julez: BeeBee
"Hey yall"
Ty: Where Jay?
"I don't know and i really don't care"
MamaT: thats not like you. What's going on?
"Honestly i don't know. Im just depressed mom."
Solange: *hugs her* don't be depressed sis
"Like i just feel like jay doesn't care"
MamaT: Bey look at me. You know that man cares about you. You gotta good man. So dont mess up bey.
Ty: Preach Mama Tina *claps*
"*laughs* I gotta go you guys. I gotta go to the studio"
I left thinking about what my mama said. She is probably right. I get to the studio and jay texted me.
Txt Convo
MrCarter: Im cooking dinner for us tonight. Can't wait until you get home. Love you Queen 😉😘❤️❤️
MrsCarter: Love you Too❤️❤️
End Of Convo
I wrote four new songs. Swizz and Babyface added beats to them. I got so carried away in the studio. I forgot about me and Jays dinner. I rushed home. It was bout 2:00 a.m when i got home. Jay was sittin on the couch watching tv.
"I'm so sorry Jay. I ju-(GCO)"
Jay: yea yea yea you got carried away.
"You wouldn't understand"
Jay: understand??? Bey really.... I've been here with you tryin to make you feel better.
"You wouldn't understand how i feel Jay. We lost our first child. And its just overwhelming"
Jay: You act like i don't care Bey.
"YOU DON'T CARE AND I KNOW JAY"
Jay: IF I DIDNT CARE I WOULDN'T BE TRYIN TO TAKE YOU PLACE OR COOKIN YOU DINEER. DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL? IM HURTIN JUST AS MUCH AS YOU. FUCK IT IM LEAVING SINCE I DONT CARE *grabs keys and some clothes and goes to his car*
"*runs outside* JAY WAIT I DIDNT MEAN IT. *starts crying*"
I ran back inside and laid on the couch and cried. I didn't mean it. I really messed up. I was blind. Jay did care. I got in my bed and cried all night long.
Tbcccc.......
