Woke up crying in the middle of the night last night, having realized what Saturday March 24, 2012 would have been.
It would have been our 1 and 1/2 year anniversery. Would have been, but never was because he cheaed, he dumped me, but somehow I still love him; even though it hurt like hell to know he never really wanted me. He was the first boy that I kissed, went on a date with, went to a high school dance with, and he was the first boy that I fell stupidly in love with. He was the first person to make me feel like I was wanted, that somebody really cared. To bad it was all pretend, to bad he wanted some one else, to bad that I fell for all his lies.
I fell way to hard and way to fast for his cheeky grin and beautiful eyes. I didn't think that he would ever cheat on me. I never thought he could look me in the eyes and lie through his teeth. I never thought he would say he loved me with out really meaning it. I never thought I would get hurt.
I had felt so safe, so wanted, so fearless. To bad it was just a false sence of security. To bad I trusted blindly and believed that some one could truely want some one like me. To bad I was stupid enough to let myself fall in love.
Chances are that he never felt the same way, that he only saw me as an annoying b*tch. That's what hurts the worst.......Not knowing if it was real or fake....
I want to move on, pick up the peices and find some one 'better'. But how can I? How can I just pretend that I didn't spend that last year and a half with a guy thatnever even cared about me? What am I supposed to do? How can I make this pain go away, or at least subside? I keep waiting for the numbness and the hollow feeling in my heart to finally take over, chasing away all the tears and all the pain.
I know I'm not the only girl to get her heart broken, I know I'm nothing special. But why does it seem like no one else really comprehends the pain that is eating away at me?
So go ahead: Share the story of your heartbreak, I promise not to judge, only to support you.
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You Thought You Knew Me
Non-FictionLife used to be easy and simple. Life used to be warm and inviting. Not anymore. When rumors explode and lies run wild, life becomes a dark sinister place. When one night can forever change your life, you become desperate, trying to turn back th...