Chapter Ten

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I opened my mouth to say something—anything, just to let him know, it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t as it seemed. It was too late though, he turned on me with a cold shoulder, and strides off confidently in the other direction. I felt terrible, and as much as I wanted to chase him down and plea for his forgiveness something held me back, like an extinct.

                   Something warned me that when he was in this state it was better just to let him cool off for a little. And that’s what I did. I let him cool off, as I walked meekly in the other direction.

                     My heart felt torn in two. I felt like an absolute jerk, but who was he to push himself on me? He was coming at me strongly, wasn’t he?

                    “Fallon,” someone shrieked my name from behind, the voice wasn’t relatively familiar.  I turned suspiciously on my heel.

                      It was Zoey Parker, and her it crew. They’d hadn’t acknowledged me since fourth grade when I peed my pants. All hatred and anger bubbled to my surface. “What,” I inquired in an acidic manner, making it prominent that I wasn’t in the mood for an insult. She looks stunned by my tone, confused almost as to the reason why I would come at her in such a way.

                  “I...I like your boots,” she says almost timidly.

                  I look down, becoming more aware of the new Fallon I have become. My face softens, as I return a polite thank-you.

                 I turn yet again wordlessly and begin walking to my biology class…which I had with Alistair.

                What would I say? Should I skip?

              When I reached the class, the chair besides mine was empty, and when the bell rang, it remained empty. For the whole period…it was empty.

               I didn’t mind though. Maybe he was sick or something. The food here is really bad, maybe it upset his stomach a little and he left, maybe—

                 Fallon! Stop, don’t do this to yourself! You did nothing wrong, you were trying to make a decision and faced an obstacle in the process, oh shoot yourself about it! Jeez Louise! My brain silenced my other thoughts.

                By the end of the period I was mopish with guilt though, until Jenna came up to me with the widest smile on her face and the biggest eyes I’ve ever seen.

                “Fallon, OMG!”

                  “What?”

                  “Cheerleading tryouts are today, will you please come with me! In the past I used to be heavy set girl, so you know, I couldn’t do all that cheerleading stuff! But I’m thin now, and there are tryouts today—but I don’t wanna do it alone, I want my bestie to be there and—“

                   “Alright,” I cut her off with a light chuckle. It was true, Jenna was a little chubby last year, didn’t have many friends beyond me and Cole, but after she got thin, she did a lot of things she didn’t imagine doing before; for example hooking up in breaking up with guys in record time.

                  “But you have to try Fallon! I really wanna make the squad and I want you to make it with me!”

                    Okay, trying out and actually making the team are two different things! I don’t want to depend on some girls to through me in the air, and their skinny little twig arms to catch me, is she crazy!  

                  “Jenna, I’m not so sure about that…” I countered.

                  “What? What do you mean!—You just said you’d tryout.”

                   “Yeah, I said ‘tryout’ not try to make it! Jeez Jen, I’m not that type of miniskirt, flaunting my goodies, watch me bend and snap type of girl! I never dreamed of being that type of girl.”

                   Jen gave me puppy eyes, as she mumbled, “I’ve always wanted to be that girl. I always wanted this dream. Don’t mine dreams matter? Don’t you want to help me reach my dreams?”

                  I dragged my palm down my face and frowned. “Alright, fine.”

                   She jumped up and down animatedly.

                   “I’m going to the vending machine to buy a root beer, so I’ll meet you—”

                    “In the gym!” she squealed, skipping down the hall.

                      Jenna was a lot of things, but a cheerleader?

                        As I walked the now desolate halls, it gave me time to think about what happened. What could have happened had I went? And why the hell hall monitors take their ‘”jobs” so seriously. As I reached the vending machine, I dug around in my back pocket, getting my crinkled dollar and a quarter.

                      Putting in the money, and receiving the drink I turn around with a shriek noticing Alistair standing there. He looked impassive, as my own shriek didn’t even faze him, as he walked past me, over to the vending machine, and got a Sprite.

                   “H…hey Alistair,” I nod, trying to make small talk.  

                   He nods in my direction, and begins to walk away. No. Not again. I couldn’t let him walk out without knowing the truth. I irrationally grab for the leather of his coat, startling him, as I dig my fingers in it for dear life. He turns around with a confused expression, but completely masks it over within seconds.

                   "Yes?"

                   "Talk to me!"

                    "Okay...hi."

                     “No…look, I’m sorry! I didn’t do what you think I did…I mean it wasn’t like that.”

                      “Wasn’t like what? Like you hid in the bathroom the whole period just to stand me up?” He asked, shifting his weight to the right, and analyzing me.

                       I bit my lip, that’s probably exactly how it looked.

                      “No, I mean…um…no! I—I was just, I was…”

                       “It’s alright, you don’t have to make up excuses…I was pushing you too far. I—”

                         “Stop! Let me finish!” I shout at him. “Okay, here’s the real story! I was about to meet you in the courtyard, but I got a little nervous because…well I had never been alone with a guy before, and I mean alone, alone—because no one barely goes in the courtyard!—Anyways, I was just a little thwarted because you’re…well you…” I pause fumbling with my fingers, “Then I got caught wandering the halls, and the hall monitor was like where’s your pass? And I was like…ah, then I went crazy snatched her pass, threw it down the hall, and ran into the female staff bathroom.”

                     He gave me an incredulous look.

                     “That’s the solid truth!” I plead.

                   “Well, Fallon I’m sorry I caused so many problems. I think…I think we need a little space. Okay?”

                 “Yeah, we do need space.” I nod, turning and walking back in the direction of the gym. Besides, I had a cheer tryout to attend.

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