"Oh, baby, senseless is a relative term."
⋆ in which a girl who ironically hates
change, meets a boy who ironically
endures pain to deal with a loss.
- angry!boxer!luke
highest rank: #655 in fan...
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Nellie sat at her parent's dining room table early that morning. She sat with her chin in the palm of her hands as she stared out the glass doors, the rain outside hitting them with a gentle tap at a steady rate. The girl couldn't sleep and it was slowly killing her mental state as she let it fester, all her thoughts consuming her like it was a virus and she was all it had to survive on. Nellie hadn't ever really felt remorse on such a high level before, but now that she was felling it she could really only see herself as the villain; she knew what she was doing when she did it and it only had a backlash because she had fallen in love with the boy she wrote about to make her point. She thought her point was dumb now, like it was all completely relative to what she had just a few days ago.
Nellie was doing her best to just avoid everyone at this point—so much so that she was staying with her parents. She usually hid in her old room, letting every thing bother her until her father came in to check on her. Nellie hadn't really told anyone but Lainey and Michael what had happened because every time she told the story again she cried her heart out and just overall felt worse. She knew she did it all to herself; that she should have just stopped and deleted it all when she had the chance because it turned out the amount of people she had reached to make her point was nothing compared to the love she had for the boy who didn't care for it. She pulled her knees into her chest as she started to think about it, the ache of her heart and the tightness of her throat starting to sneak up on her like the reality that done so a few days before. Only this time someone momentarily stopped it from happening when they spoke to her.
"Nellie, sweetheart, you should really rest," Leo said.
Nellie glanced at him from her spot at the table. The man was dressed in his scrubs and was pouring himself a cup of coffee as he said it. He turned around a few moments after, Leo walking towards his daughter before she pulled up a seat next to her. She watched him as he did this, the short girl frowning at him as he frowned back at her. She had bags under her eyes and a tiredness to her normal glow; she looked torn apart and the man hadn't actually seen her like this in two years. She was never sad—it just wasn't who she was. He pushed some of her hair behind her ear as her bottom lip quivered, Leo feeling his heartache for her as he tried to comfort her.
"I can't sleep. I've tried, believe me," Nellie whispered. She paused after she said it, the girl's thoughts starting to run again as her father looked at her with concern. She looked at him again before she spoke, her question making him want to cry for her. "Am I a bad person?"
"God no, Nellie," he said. The girl looked at him with tears in her eyes as he answered her. He frowned at her before he motioned for her to sit with him, the man hugging his twenty-one year old daughter to his chest as she started to cry again. He rubbed her arm as she did this, Nellie seeming like she was five again and crying over a scrape on her knee—though now the pain she was experiencing was far worse and her father knew this. Leo kissed her forehead softly as she cried into his shoulder, the older man wishing he could make his daughter's pain go away. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry your heart hurts."
