senseless | l.h

ROUND 13: STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, AND WORDS HURT A LITTLE.

Nellie sat crossed legged on Luke's bathroom counter the next morning. The boy had just gotten out of the shower when he let her in. She discovered she liked talking to him early in the morning after doing it a few times before actually sleeping over. Nellie thought it might have had something to do with the thought of waking up to someone, but she never said anything about that. She was always a little doubtful of how Luke really felt; today he was feeling guilty about numerous things (and Nellie was going to find that out soon enough, even if none of it was her fault).

She leaned against his mirror as her eyes fell over him. He placed Band-aids onto his scabbed knuckles as Nellie rested her head on her knees. She found a sense of comfort in watching the boy go through his morning routine.  Again, she figured it all led back to their loneliness; and it did. She liked his company in the morning, even if they didn't talk that much when she sat there. It went the same way for the boy, too.

Nellie continued to sit in silence as Luke did this, her curiosity began to peak from the night before. Like Luke, she had figured out a little more than she, or Luke, had thought she would. Nellie discovered that her friend spoke in his sleep, the boy always mumbling incoherent and broken sentences she most likely wasn't supposed to know about. But Luke knew something about her, too; so in reality they were even—though Luke wouldn't have cared for this. Life wasn't about being even, especially when it came to secrets. His friend had no filter though, and she kind of expected him to remember this when words fell past her full lips. Her words weren't rude or harmful, rather they were simply invasive.

"You talk in your sleep, baby; you know that?" She said, making him look up at her for a brief moment. He shrugged his shoulders, not really wanting to talk about it with her. He had been told about what Nellie was just telling him now. He always figured he knew he mumbled and whispered about in his sleep, but he never asked. He always thought it would sting more if he did. Nellie on the other hand, didn't consider this; rather her mind thought she was concerned and kept asking him questions, even if she knew it would bother the hell out of him. "She's the girl on your wall, isn't she? Jules?"

"Don't." He mumbled, shoving his bandages back into his drawer before he started to brush his teeth. Nellie remained silent as he did this, the girl twiddling her thumbs to distract her mind (which was constantly running with thoughts. Luke was surprised she didn't always have to be moving like her mind did). She frowned for a moment as he rinsed. Words began to rise in the back of her mind again, which, inevitably, led to them falling past her lips.

"I'm just concerned. You are my friend, Luke." Nellie said, making Luke roll his eyes as she tried to continue her speaking. Luke interrupted her words (which were ironically about secrets). He glared at her for this, making her features soften as her shoulders slouched foreword. Nellie knew it wasn't fair of her to mumble something about secrets, but the words had made their way out before she could control it. Oddly enough, Luke's rant to her didn't start off about secrets; it started about feelings.

"Stop giving me that bullshit, Nellie. I get it. You don't know your own feelings." He said, sounding angry as he muttered his words. She frowned as he continued on, the boy feeling annoyed for a multitude of reasons.

"I know my feelings." She whispered. Luke scoffed when she said this, the boy laughing sarcastically as he looked at her. Nellie couldn't kiss the boy without telling him they were still simply pals. She didn't know her feelings.

"Right. You choose to devote them to someone who doesn't love you. I guess as your friend, I'll support that fucking waste of your time." He spat. Nellie frowned as he put his face in his hands, the boy already feeling regretful of the words he allowed to slip past his lips. Why was it so hard for him to take Nellie's numerous rejections? Why did he have to have all these built up little feelings she egged on? He didn't like her—at least this lie was easier to swallow than the truth. Now he just didn't want to talk about, so he circled back to her comments about secrets, which only ended up making him angrier.