Chasing After My Life. (Another cancer story)

Chapter 33

April
We've discovered that you're in remission this last round of chemo and radiation was a success,of course you will need one last round of chemo to insure that all the cancer cells were killed but you're in remission,my oncologist said with tears in her eyes. I put my hand to my mouth because of the shock and began to cry. They were tears of joy I did it I beat it. Little did I know this was not the last time I would beat it only the first. Leo squeezed my hand and smiled at me. We will begin your final round of chemo in a week,she finished. The meeting was dismissed. We walked out joyful. Sarah seemed happy for me too. She drove to Cracker Barrel and we all ate a good lunch. I sat next to Leo. Afterwards she stopped at the grocery store. We stayed in the car together. He held my hand and moved his thumb in circles over it. The excitement of the day wore me out. I wasn't as tired as usual and soon I wouldn't be at all I'd be my normal self without cancer. I wouldn't forget this journey though. It wasn't over there's more to this story. I closed my eyes reluctantly and slept. Leo gently woke me when we got home and we went inside. I slept for a couple more hours while Leo went out on the porch. I don't know what he was doing but I'll find out later. If the excitement of the good news hadn't wore me out I would've went to see. He never seems to practice guitar anymore or at least not around me but he does practice saxophone and I absolutely love watching him do that. I can only play string instruments and percussion occasionally. I don't get to practice that often besides in school. I could guitar cause Leo has one. I do too but it's at the house with my parents. I should bring it with me sometime to play with him. I woke just as he was entering the room. He sat his guitar down and noticed I was awake. I sat up as he walked over. Hey,are you okay,he asked smiling. I nodded and excitedly whispered yes. That was a first. I wasn't going to die I beat this. I'm in remission. He hugged me and I pulled him close. Well what do you want to do,he asked. I shrugged because I didn't know I wasn't sick or exhausted though I will tire easily since I am still recovering from chemo but I'm not dying sick. How about you get ready and I surprise you,he said with a big smile as the idea popped in his head. Okay,I replied. I changed and styled my hair. I also added a touch of makeup. I was wearing this pretty to the knee blue dress. It had an open diamond shape in the back and a bow in between the shoulder blades. I walked into the kitchen and he did a double take. Woah,you look amazing like always,he said and came up to me enveloping me in his scent and warmth. Thank you,I whispered looking up and meeting his eyes. I love you,I said. I love you too,he said. We're gonna be late if we don't go,he said aloud,announcing to Sarah that we were leaving. Okay,I mumbled and grabbed my purse. In the car it was almost silent. The radio was playing soft in the background and it was peaceful. He kept sneaking glances at me thinking I didn't notice. I looked out the window. What's wrong he asked worried after seeing a look on my face and his smile fell. Nothing I'm thinking I said. What are you thinking about he asked after another beat of silence. You and me,I'm really glad---I took a breath as tears welled--I'm just really glad that you stayed with me even though I could've died and I was really sick,I finished. Tears welled in his. Promise you'll always stay with me I really need you I can't live without you,I would rather die than live without you,I almost whispered because the tears were falling and it was too much as I looked up a second not meeting his gaze as I saw him crying too. He pulled off. I always will,it's okay,he said crying too. I stayed quiet as instead of holding my hand he pulled me to his chest. I let out a sob. It's okay,it's okay baby girl,let it out,it's all gonna be okay now,I'm never leaving or being separated from you,I am not ever letting anything happen to you,he whispered as his tears slowed. Okay,I whispered as my breathing slowed and I calmed down. Let's go or we will be late by the way where are you taking me,I asked as I checked my makeup which wasn't too bad considering I was crying. Lucky for me it was waterproof. Okay and I know and it's a surprise,he said and kissed my cheek before he pulled out and began to drive again. I couldn't wait I was in remission after a year of cancer even if I could relapse I was happy and mostly worry free. Most importantly I was in love and living. I can't wait till I am released to go back to school. We held hands and the radio was playing softly. One of my favorites came on the radio. I turned it up and said loudly,I love this song. I heard the final chorus and refrain as it played out softly and slowly through the car:

"Why don't you stay a little while just right here in my arms. I'll keep you warm and safe just stay right here. I promise to never leave I'll stay. I'll go with you wherever you go. I was happiest when you announced you loved me too. If you'll let me I'll be the beat of your heart. Please stay and continue to be the best in me. I can't let you be that easy to leave love. Stay forever and Be the best in me."

I opened my eyes that I didn't realize were closed. Leo had tears welled in his eyes again. I didn't realize but I had been singing which I hadn't done in months. The last refrain was always my favorite. I have something to show you tomorrow,he said. I then got the idea that maybe we could make one song together with him on guitar he's really good compared to me and then we can both sing. Close your eyes he said. I felt as we made a couple turns. Finally one more turn and he parked. Okay open them he said. Oh my god Leo,I gasped and put a hand over my mouth.