Chasing After My Life. (Another cancer story)

Chapter 10

A/N:I added a song with this chapter called If I Die Young by The Band Perry.

April
I passed out at school. I skipped lunch cause I felt so sick and my blood pressure was so low that I passed out. Leo found me and took me home to Sarah right away. They didn't switch me to a mask I just had my nubbins. She had examined me and my cancer wasn't the cause of me blacking out this time. When I fell my knee twisted I was told I was lucky I didn't tear my muscle I was so close to tearing it. Leo was sitting next to me on the bed when I came to. He informed me of my knee and the brace on it now. It really hurts but not as bad as the cancer does sometimes. This is why I didn't want you going to school,Leo said. I'm going,I had told him,coughing a couple times. I readjusted myself on the bed so I could breathe easier. I ate dinner in bed that evening so my knee could rest for me to go to school tomorrow. I watched a movie in the bedroom and Leo joined me though he was really silent. I am so scared of losing him but he thinks I want to leave him and I don't. I can't prove it to him as much as I want too. I was hooked up to my oxygen machine the hospital gave me during my last trip so it's easier to breath at night but I will use my cannula during the day. I fell asleep halfway through the second movie. Leo noticed this and with a smile on his face he moved a lose strand of hair out of my face and cut the tv off. He went out and showered then came back and laid down on his couch bed. The next morning,Leo went out to the jeep and grabbed our bags. Sarah was going to be taking the jeep up to have it worked on. We would ride the bus to and from school and after school Sarah is taking me down to chemotherapy. Leo is coming with us but I don't know if they will allow him in the room with me or not. I will soon lose all of my pageboy cut. My doses of chemo are high because my cancer is Stage 2. Once we get the tumors on my lungs small enough I will be able to have surgery to remove them and I won't need the oxygen. We ate quickly. I ate toast again and Leo eggs and bacon. We met the bus outside. Leo was carrying my bag since I had my cannula on my back. Adam was on before us as normal. His younger brother is a 3rd grader and he seems to be okay with me staying with them for a while. Hopefully I can get better but I won't get as much time with Leo if I do but it's better than the cancer. I was so tired I haven't been sleeping well. The dark circles under my eyes proved that. I leaned my head against the window as I looked out it and Leo watched my reflection. I felt a lone tear slide down my right cheek. School wasn't so bad today the same as usual. I was dreading the chemo because I was so exhausted. I climbed onto the bus exhausted by then.I didn't sleep much the past week which is noticeable and today as soon as he sat in my seat with me I leaned into his arm and shoulder and fell asleep.He woke me when we got home and I barely made it off the bus I was half asleep. He took my book bag and cannula putting it on his shoulders and carried me to the house where I collapsed onto the bed exhausted and fell instantly asleep and he covered me sitting my tank on the floor and I slept till the next morning then I was woken late but alert. I went back to school since I was sleeping yesterday I have to take a double dose of Chemo today but I got sleep. We are leaving school at 12 to meet Sarah at the hospital for Chemotherapy treatment. I made it through another school day. We left. In the jeep we held hands as he drove. I hate chemo my little hair I have left it gonna fall out and i will be twice as sick for a few days. I've had this cough for the past week too. I climbed out. My knee was sore I was limping.  My brace was keeping it straight so I could at least walk instead of needing crutches or a wheelchair. I put my tank on my back and Leo climbed out with me and locked the jeep. We walked in together,he was holding my hand and rubbing little circles on the back of it to calm me down. It's already April. Leo will have Junior Prom next month and I will have my birthday in two weeks. Hopefully I don't get sick before then. We rode the elevator to the 3rd floor. The pediatric oncology ward. Leo signed me in and I got my hospital bracelet on. It identified who I was and what I was there for. I get one every time. Leo sat in a chair with me sitting next to him silently holding his hand. I examined how our hands fit so perfectly as if we were meant to be. April Carver,Kelsey,one of Sarah's nursing friends,called out. I stood. I'll see you in a few hours,I said to Leo. I walked behind the door. I was no longer having private chemo,I am on my fourth week of chemo out of six. She brought me to the treatment room for my drip. There was another boy and girl in there. Both of them were bald already and they were holding hands. I sat in the chair across from the two. Kelsey set up my IV and after the drip started I sat for the most boring 4 hours of my life. I forgot my book in the jeep and I'm not supposed to use my phone in here nor is anyone one not getting treatment aloud in here with us. Hey,are you new I don't remember seeing you here before,the girl said. Hey,I've been a patient here since September I was in the PICU for three months in a coma and then I got really sick with an infection after my first two weeks of chemo,I'm on my fourth week now and they informed me that they'd no longer be private,I said. I think it's better than the boring ICU room though,I laughed a short nervous laugh unsure how this was going to go. I'm Emily and this is Tristan,she said nodding toward the boy. April,I said. I have Acute Myeloid Leukemia or AML,this is my 8th month here at the hospital,I've had Leukemia for over 10 months,my recurrence that is,I've been battling off and on since I was 6,Emily said. I've got AML and it had spread to my brain when the doctors found it,I had seizures and then surgery to remove it,I was in a coma for 4 months then am still trying to get in remission for AML I'm an inpatient like Emily,we don't ever get to leave and even if we do it's no longer than about 2 hours,the boy Tristan said. So how bout you,Emily asked when I said nothing. Oh well I passed out a school after our third week of school and the doctors found a tumor on my brain,a massively large tumor on my lungs and AML,I was sick for a time without knowing it,I said. How old are you,Tristan asked. I'm 15 gonna be 16 in 2 weeks,I'm a sophomore,I said. How bout you,I asked them. I'm 16 gonna be seventeen next month,I'm gonna be a junior,Tristan said. What school,I asked Tristan. I go to Northeast High,Tristan said. Oh I thought you might've known my boyfriend,but we're from West Point High,I said. I'm 14,gonna be 15 in a month and a half,I'm a Freshman,I go to Northeast High also,she said. Cool,I said. How long have you been together,I asked. I was here before Tristan we met on his 1st month of treatment I fell in love with him,we got together,Emily said,I'm glad I found him I don't want to do this alone. Nice,I said. So how long have you been with your boyfriend,how old is he,Emily asked. We've been together starting 2 weeks before I got sick,he's gonna be a junior,he's 17 same age as Tristan,I said. Cool,she said. We talked for hours that my treatment seemed to pass quick cause I didn't even want to leave when I was done with the double dose though I knew I'd fall asleep at home before I'd get sick. Kelsey came in during the middle to hook up my other bag of Chemo. Before I left Emily,Tristan and I exchanged numbers. I made friends this time. I promised to check in before my next Chemo appointment. Kelsey wheeled me out to Leo when I had to leave and I said goodbye to my new friends. Leo signed me out and wheeled me out to the jeep and lifted me and my tank in before returning the wheelchair. I got comfortable. I thought I'd make it home before I started getting sick but I was wrong. We didn't even get away from the hospital before it started I didn't think there'd ever be an end to it. Leo rubbed my back and said soothing words like oh baby and it's okay. I was plain dry heaving. What if I die young,what if I leave Leo by dying before we even got engaged or had a first dance? They were the questions I was asking myself as I got sick to my stomach. I was worrying about when I would die hopefully not young. I hoped my friends wouldn't die as young as me either they deserved to live just like me. If I die young there will be so many things I haven't done that I've wanted too and that's when I realized I should make a bucket list. Then I finally stopped getting sick,weak and tired and laid back in the seat. I fell asleep.