Chasing After My Life. (Another cancer story)

Chapter 16

A/N: The song to go with this chapter is Walls Are Coming Down by Building 429. Enjoy.

April
Being home for those few days were amazing,I told Emily. We were currently gathered on her bed while Tristan went to a radiation session. His first actually. We weren't aloud to go in with him. I've been in inpatient for this week since I'm doing my first week of my second six weeks of chemo. If this doesn't work
I'll move onto radiation. I kept thinking about that night. After we danced all night,we went to the after prom party where we went ice skating. It was so much fun. I made sure to take plenty of pictures. It was a two hour ride to the ice skating place. We didn't get home till 5 am. Hello,earth to April,Emily said waving her hand in front of my face. What sorry just thinking,I said. I know you were thinking about him I could tell by the look on your face,I was asking if you were ever scared when you thought about dying,Emily said. Okay yes I was thinking about him but still....and at first no because I had no reason to live nothing left so it didn't scare me I wasn't scared of losing anybody but now yes actually every waking second death scares me because I have a reason to live and I'm scared of losing him,I said. It was then that I noticed the tears welled in her eyes. Hey,hey,what's wrong ,I asked pulling her into a hug. She just cried and sobbed hard into my shoulder. When she calmed down she took a breath. She wiped the loose tears from under her eyes with her hand. Promise me you won't tell Tristan anything I tell you now,I don't want to hurt him,she said. I promise,Em,I won't,but to be honest you are starting to scare the crap out of me,I said. Okay,---she took in a shaky breath----,after you left for prom last week,they gave me a private session of chemo which means nobody else and my doctor came in and they had taken blood and scans,and they informed me that I have probably a maximum of no longer than 6 months to a year left of my life,she said. Oh my god,I said putting a hand to my mouth. She nodded. I haven't told Tristan I don't know what to say they are continuing treatments he thinks I've been getting better and I just don't want to hurt him by telling him,she said. Why did they do scans,I asked. I've been having a lot of pain all over my body,that's why and it's spread---she let out a shaky laugh to keep from crying---God,April,how it spread,it's all over my body,she said before her upper lip quivered. Her walls were coming down. I knew only because it's happened to me I've seen it and felt it. I pulled her close into a hug as she cried into my shoulder and she let out son after sob and shaky breath after shaky breath. She pulled back and nodded. Okay I'm okay now,she said wiping at her face for loose tears. We sat there till her breaths were normal and her face was no longer red. Then we looked at the clock. Crap,we yelled out together. She climbed in her wheelchair and I pushed her. They don't really like patients walking around. I don't care I'm going to walk. We walked quick down the hall until we reached Tristan's room. He has been out of radiation for about an hour. He was laying there asleep when we came in. I was wearing my black hat today. It was like the purple one except it was black. I had a red one too. Leo had bought me another two when I entered the hospital again a week later for chemo. Hey,Trist,Emily called out in a whisper. He opened his eyes. Hey,Em,he said. How do you do this all the time,I feel awful,he said. You get used to it after a while I know the feeling it gives you sucks,Emily said. Hey April,he said. Hey,I replied. Everything okay,he asked seeing the looks on both of our faces. Yeah everything's fine,Emily answered. Yeah it's fine I'm doing my chemo again round two,I said. I'll go home here in a few days,I'll get to spend it with my parents I'm hoping I can get a date in with Leo,I said. I'd do anything to go home again even for an hour and be able to do chemo,chemo is much better than radiation,he said. Okay well I'm going to give you all some alone time and I'll have chemo in an hour then Leo will come,I'll see you tomorrow,I said. I went to close the door and heard Em said Trist I have something I need to tell you. He said he did to. He said his first. I hope she gets to tell him it's better to hurt him now then worse when she dies.

Two Weeks Later....

I finally got home. I've had three out of six weeks of chemo. I have checked in with Emily once before I left. Tristan was in radiation so we were on her bed in her room.

"Flashback to a week ago"
So did you tell him,I asked. April I want to but I don't really want to and I tried but I couldn't not after what he said to me,she said. What'd he say,I asked scared to hear the answer. He had told me that he loves me and as soon as we graduate and get better he's going to marry me,he told me that I am the only thing left he is fighting for without me he would give up fighting because there would be nothing left for him,she said tears welling in her eyes. I'm not going to make it that long to get married and graduate and if I tell him I'm going to die then he will stop treatments I'm hoping if I wait then by the time I have a week left he will be in remission,she added. Oh Em,I said. She leaned into me as we hugged and she had a few tears drop on my shoulder as mine did on hers.
"End of flashback"

Of course this was before my life is about to come apart. If I knew this was coming I would hide and sleep forever never waking. My walls were about to coming tumbling down. Sarah came to visit us. We were talking normally I guess. I went to get a glass of lemonade and put on a longer pretty black scarf that hung around my short hair that was coming back. I was wearing my mint green tank top and a comfortable pair of sweats. I came back around the corner with our lemonades and heard Sarah crying,saying "I'm sorry I couldn't tell her we think he's okay,just don't know we think we may be Clear out of the woods the worst of it over with,we aren't sure".That was how I knew my life was falling apart when I stood next to them they don't notice right away but I already knew what they meant.