Not So Hidden Desire

I Will Always Remember You (New Chapter)

Katie

It was the beginning of April now and I was halfway through my pregnancy. I needed to get my butt in gear if I was ever going to get this wedding planned before baby Alex arrived. I have narrowed down the location to the lake house, now to determine the time of day. I think a sunset wedding would be beautiful overlooking the lake.

I felt the baby moving inside of me. I think Alex liked the idea too. Owen was working late tonight again. We were supposed to go look at new houses today but that will have to wait. So instead Cassie was going to come over so we could finish up planning the wedding. I have a quick trip to make across town before she gets here.

I grabbed my purse, phone, keys, and the bouquet of flowers off the counter. I got into my Mazda and pulled out of the drive. I headed towards the south side of town.

A few minutes later I pulled into Conner’s Cemetery. I stepped out of the car with the flowers and walked past several very weathered headstones. I came to a marble headstone with a picture of praying hands. I ran my fingers across the name as a tear fell from my eye.

“Abby I miss you so much. Planning this wedding is not the same without you. I’m sorry I haven’t been here sooner, I have barely been able to keep myself together these past few months.” I kneeled down in front of her grave and placed the flowers at the base of her headstone. I reached in my bag and pulled out the ultrasound of baby Alex.

“I never got to tell you that we are expecting and it’s going to be a boy. I hope I am a good mother. How am I going to be able to do this without my best friend? I feel like part of me is gone, it left the day you died. I hope it was ok that I have Cassie stand in as my matron of honor. You are still my official one… I have to go for now because Cassie is coming over to help finish the wedding planning. I miss you and love you.” The tears flowed freely now as I struggled to get up from the ground. I walked slowly to my car and headed home.

The tears continued to fall as I drove the few minutes to my house. Cassie wasn’t there yet so I had time to go inside and freshen up before she arrived.

Cassie knocked on the front door a few minutes later. I glanced into the mirror one last time before I headed to answer the door. My eyes were still red cfrom crying but otherwise I looked presentable.

I opened the door and Cassie about knocked me down as she rattled off a bunch of details.

“Woah…slow down a minute,” I laughed.

“Oh, Sorry I had a few things running through my head,” she sat down on the couch and pulled out a folder of pictures.

“Now repeat what you said but slower please,” I laughed as I sat down beside her.

“I went down to the bridal boutique and took pictures of several different dresses that they had available. Just thought I could save you a trip in case you needed to order your dress online or something.”

“Thanks.” I grabbed the folder from her hands and started sifting through the various photos. I still wasn’t finding exactly what I wanted. All of these dresses were either too poufy or to too sparkly. I just want something plain with a little bit of decoration to it.

“Are you ok?” She asked.

“Yeah I am fine why?”

“You seem to be a little distant and your eyes are red.”

“Oh…I went to see Abby today and told her about the baby,” I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall again.

“It gets better Hun, I promise,” she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a quick hug.

“How do you know it gets better…there’s like this hole in my heart that can’t be fixed.”

“I have been in a similar situation where I lost someone very close to me. Matt’s younger sister was in a car accident a month after our wedding. Kelly and I were really close, we were roommates in college. She was the one who set Matt and me up on a blind date. It took a while to get over the pain of losing her…Now I focus on the happy memories we shared and that is what gets me through,” She explained.

“I’m so sorry I did not know that,” I sniffed.

“Ok enough of the tears. Let’s go do some retail therapy,” she smiled.

“Sounds like a plan. Let me grab my purse and I will meet you out in the car.” I hopped up and headed to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face then pulled my hair back into a pony tail. I quickly grabbed my purse and headed out the door.

About an hour later we were at the mall talking and laughing. We walked into several stores and we couldn’t resist buying something before we left the store. I had to admit this was fun even though I spent way too much money.

Three hours later we headed for home. My legs were killing me. I haven’t shopped for that long of a period of time in forever.

Owen was already home when we pulled in the drive. Crap I forgot to call him and tell him I was going out.

He flew out the door and down the drive looking panicked. “Where have you been?”

“We decided to take a trip to the mall to go shopping,” I smiled.

“I called you several times and every time it went straight to voicemail. I was worried sick.” I pulled my phone out of my purse and noticed the battery was dead.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know the battery had died,” I frowned.

“It’s ok you are home now. Let me help you get your stuff inside.”

I said my goodbyes to Cassie as Owen grabbed my bags from the trunk. I followed him into the house. He placed my bags on the couch then pulled me into his arms.

“Please don’t ever do that to me again.” He kissed my forehead and held me close.