13. Frozen Heart

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Beatrix

Time flies so fast when you're happy, but slow and deadly when you're sad.

A week have passed and I haven't seen Madison. I do miss her pero anong magagawa ko? I can't demand her time and attention, can I?

After what happened last Friday night, I was kind of expecting na magkakaron kami ng progress. But life has this lovely way of giving me good things and immediately bitch slapping me with something bad.

I sighed.

"You seemed so down, bruh."

Katabi ko ngayon si Luis, naghihintay sa next professor namin sa Theory of Architecture.

"Alam mo, if I were you, mag move on nalang ako and find somebody else. It's supposed to be a happy crush, but stress na stress ka dyan."

Napaisip naman ako sa sinabi nya. He's somewhat right, but the thing is— my feelings for Madison is not just a simple crush.

"Wait, wait, wait." He looked at me as if may narealize sya. "Don't tell me— oh my." Eksaherada nyang reaction na may pahawak pa sa dibdib.

"Are you inlove with her?" He asked.

I closed my eyes, wishing that it was this easy to shut down my feelings for her.

No, I wouldn't say that I'm already inlove with her. Paano ko naman malalaman yun, eh hindi ko pa naman 'to nararamdaman kahit kanino. Sa kanya lang.

Ang bilis naman. Sobrang bilis ng lahat. But one thing's for sure though,  I'm falling deeper for her everyday.

I felt him tapped my shoulder. "You don't need to answer it now bruh. But always know that I'm here to listen, whenever you're ready."

Napangiti naman ako sa sinabi ni Luis. I'm lucky to have someone like him, someone who wouldn't judge me.

Hanggang sa natapos na yung klase namin, hindi na ulit namin pinag usapan ni Luis.

Tumayo na ako at naglakad palabas. As soon as I got outside, I felt the cold wind brushed against my skin.

Natatawa ako sa sarili ko, ang OA ko na ba. Jeez, kahit ako nakokornihan na sa sarili ko eh.

Instead of going straight home to the dorm, naisipan ko munang bisitahin yung secret garden.

I haven't been there for more than a week. Kailangan ko lang mag unwind— and kind of expecting na makita sya dun.

Pero kung wala naman, okay lang din.

Unfortunately, wala nga sya. Umupo lang ako sa usual na tinatambayan ko dito, and just enjoy my surroundings.

Five minutes, pagkatapos ng five minutes ay aalis na ako.

Pagkatapos ng limang minuto ay tumayo na ako para umalis.

"Beatrix..."

I paused. It was Madison's voice.

"What are you doing here at this hour?"   She asked coldly.

Napalingon ako and I finally saw her. I was glad to see her, but I also couldn't ignore the pain in my heart.

"I—I" I don't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I have to go."

Tumalikod na ako para umalis. But I felt her hand on my waist.

Bigla akong nanigas. "W-what are you d-doing?"

Hindi ko na sya maintindihan. One minute, she's cold, the next minute, bigla syang gagawa ng isang bagay na makakapagpahulog sa'kin lalo sa kanya. She kept giving me mixed signals.

Hindi ako makagalaw at napapikit nalang. Ang lakas lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko, at alam kong ramdam nya ito.

"Did you feel it?"

Did I feel what?

Then I felt it— her heart was beating so fast.

Then she spoke in a very quiet voice. "My heart that was frozen— now melts with your warmth."

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