Destroy Me

08 // CARD HOUSE IN A STORM

"YOU NEED TO HAVE all of this down before you leave today," Mr Hart told us. I looked down at my book, which was completely free of any health work, and sighed. The bell rang and I closed it, but Mr Hart was at the door and checking that everyone had copied down the stuff he had written on the board. 

I showed him my empty book because there was nothing else I could do. 

"Go and copy it down Devon," he ordered me.

"I don't want to," I muttered.

"It's not like you have a choice," he scoffed. I ignored him and walked out of the classroom anyway. I started towards the bathrooms, the same bathroom that had been Elijah and Kendall's secret rendezvous the other day. 

I sat in a locked stall with my feet pulled up. I sighed and buried my face in my hands. All I wanted to do was go home and hide under my blanket. I didn't want to be at school, I didn't want to be at school, I didn't want to be anywhere.

It had been about a week since I found out about Elijah and Kendall and my parents. A whole week and I had been in here every spare second that I had. I didn't like to think of it as hiding, I liked to think of it as... As though I was a card house and there was a storm outside of this stall. 

Three deep breaths later and I listened to see if there was anyone outside of the bathroom. All I had to do was make it through the last two periods of the day, then I could go home and continue pretending that everything was okay.

"Great plan," I muttered and unlocked the stall. I went and stood by the taps before looking at myself in the mirror. I tucked some hair that had escaped from my ponytail behind my ear and sighed. 

If there was one thing about myself that I despised, it was the fact that I can't stand seeing people hurt. I knew that if I told Isiah, he would be visibly upset and I don't know if I'd be able to help him. This could be my chance to make him see that I'm the one for him, but did I really want to hurt him in the process?

I quickly washed my hands, despite never actually using the toilet, and started out of the bathroom. However, there was a certain someone leaning against the wall outside.

"What's wrong Eli?" I rose an eyebrow. "You suddenly have a problem with walking into the girls bathroom?"

"I heard about your mum," he said. "I guess that's why you've been avoiding me."

"You're right, it has nothing to do with the fact that I can't stand looking at you," I hissed. "Just leave me alone."

"I'm here if you need to talk to someone," he told me. 

"Maybe you should take your on advice and go and talk to your brother," I scoffed. "I'm sure he'll be really open to listening to anything you have to say."

"Can you just stop?" Elijah snapped. "I get it, okay? I'm a horrible fucking person but I don't need you just constantly at me."

"Have you told Kendall?" I asked. "About my mum?"

"No," he shook his head. "I wouldn't do that."

"Sure you wouldn't," I rolled my eyes. "Just like you wouldn't tell her about how they argued. You know what Eli, go ahead. Tell Kendall, give me a reason."

"You need to calm down," Elijah ordered me. 

"Calm down," I nodded. "You don't get to tell me to calm down!" 

"Devon," he tried. 

"I want to hurl you into the ocean," I told him, "or bury you in the Sahara."