He smiled, revealing his still perfect white teeth. Everything about him was just perfect; exactly how I remembered him.
"Thank you for meeting up with me," Xavier slid his hand across the table, and rested it on my, "Ivy. I thought that you really weren't coming and was going to stand me up. Fairness, I probably deserve that, haha."
I grabbed onto his hand and shook my head, "No, no you don't Xavier. You acted like how any normal person would; I was the one who should've been freaking out. I'm sorry for what I did, Xavier. You had every right to leave."
Xavier looked down at our still entwined hands, then he looked into my eyes with his green ones. Oh, I had missed his beautiful eyes. I missed him; every part of him. I loved Ashley also, but there was just something about Xavier.
With Ashley, it was risky and steamy. Like a toned down Romeo and Juliet, but without all of the dying at the end. Ashley made me feel like we were in the old music video, Rebel Love Song, with us keeping it in secret, the hot sex, and him being way older. It was just energetic, and I loved it.
But, I felt safe with Xavier. We had history and love filled nights. When I was with him, it was a breath of fresh, clean air: it was easy. Xavier made me feel beautiful and wanted: Ashley made me feel sexy and powerful. I still loved Xavier, in different way from Ashley though.
My heart was split in two with them. With Ashley, the future of "us" wasn't certain. And with Xavier, we had a chance to fix things, to make things right.
Xavier squeezed my hand and closed his eyes, "I still love you, Ivy. You are the only girl I could ever be with; the only one I want to be with too. I know that you and Ashley are probably together, but I want us to start over again," Xavier looked back into my eyes again, "Please, Ivy, I don't feel right without you anymore. It's like there's a part of my soul missing, and I need that part to truly be happy. Please, Ivy, just try."
"Xavier," When I said his name it came out breathless. I shook my head and a few tears slipped.
"Are you really happy with Ashley?" Xavier still held my hand, but grabbed the same hand with both hands, "Are you happy hiding it from your dad? The guys? The fans? How does it feel to have to hide the boys? Please, Ivy, I'm willing to try if you are."
Both parts of my heart were tugging in two different directions: be happy and have a bright future with Xavier, or have a cloudy future with Ashley? Then, I knew what was best: for me, for the twins, the band, my family, Xavier, and even Ashley.
"Xavier..." I whispered. I wanted this, I wanted him. I love Ashley, but I wanted Xavier. So, what I said next shocked both of us, "I... I have to go. I'm sorry."
I took my hand back and calmly walked out of the nice restaurant. I pasted by many happy looking couples and families, all dressed in fancy dresses and such. I wanted to be one of them, but I wasn't happy. You could tell by the tears that started falling down my cheeks. I could hear Xavier calling my name trying to chase after me, but I got outside and ran to my car. I got in and wasted no time getting out of there. I needed to get out of there.
I drove, and I drove fast. At that moment, I didn't care what happened to me or anybody else. I didn't need him, or Ashley, or anybody. I just needed to drive. I reached over and turned on the radio.
"Trying to stay awake so I bet you turned on the radio. And the song goes: 'I can't live without, I can't live without, baby. I can't live without, I can't live without you, baby, baby'. The highway won't hold you to night. The highway won't hold you tonight. The highway won't care if you're all alone. But I do, I do."
I couldn't do this anymore. I drove back to Ashley's and stormed into the living room. I just had to leave here. I could hear Ashley shuffling around his room, which meant that the twins were in their room already.
"Ivy?" Ashley called out, "Are you home?" Ashley walked out of the bedroom and turned to face me, "Hey,"
I let out a noise of frustration, almost like "ugh" and walked into our bedroom. "Ivy?" Ashley asked and walked in with me, "Is everything okay?". I went to our closet and got down a suitcase. Then, I started randomly throwing most of my clothes in, I was too upset to tell what I was pulling.
I closed that bag and pulled out another. I pushed past Ashley and walked to the boys' room. Ashley walked in with me. "Ivy?"
I started grabbing basic needs for the boys. I would pick up anything else when I got far enough. "I'm done, Ashley," I cried as I pushed the last of their clothes into the over-stuffed bag. "I need sometime, I'll be back soon."
Ashley walked into the room and wrapped his arms around me, "Come to bed, sweetheart. It will be--"
"No!" I pulled myself away from Ashley and threw the bag with the boys stuff on the floor. "Keep them, I don't care! I have to leave here though! This place, Dad, Riot, Xavier!... You! I could be happy right now if it wasn't for you! I would be with Xavier, no kids! Maybe I could've gone to college or maybe started a band! But now I can't!"
I pushed past Ashley again, ran through the house and to the front door. Ashley was right behind me. I went out to the car and placed the bag in the back. I then went to the backseats and took out the car seats. I placed them next to Ashley's car, and then slammed the door. I then got into the drivers seat and started the car.
"Ivy! Please don't go!" Ashley yelled, "Please, lets just talk about this! Come back inside!" I sighed, and pulled the car out of the driveway. I turned the radio, it was still playing that same Country Radio Station that Ashley loves. "I Want Crazy" by Hunter Hayes softly played from the speakers.
I speed through the city and made my way to the highway. I knew exactly where I was going. I hadn't been there in a while, but it was going to be okay from now on. I knew that I had to go to this one spot, and just wait out the storm there.
Home.
