Marriage As Punishment

Words of Wisdom

CHAPTER 5



He hardly looked at me when we left on Friday. It was as if he had completely forgotten our forest encounter. I have nonstop wondered whether the whole thing was a daydream. It has been four days since the lunch outing, yet I am still replaying it in my mind. I am almost certain that it truly happened. Why would I imagine something like that? No, it most definitely happened. Had I wanted him to kiss me? I still cannot say. He's an attractive man, as long as he keeps his mouth closed.

I haven't told a soul about it. I hate to think of what they would say. A lecture about impropriety is guaranteed. I don't need to hear that one again. The last time was when Georgie and I were caught kissing in the gardens at the Crowley's wedding. I laugh at the thought. Mother was livid! It seems strange now though, I was only twelve. My only motivation was curiosity. Georgie was a dearest friend, I wasn't sweet on him. I wouldn't even consider it a first kiss, it was so brief. The kiss was very uncomfortable, like telling your father that you became a woman uncomfortable. I wonder if it would be uncomfortable to kiss James. I highly doubt it though. I think it would be sweet and gentle. Not too fast or sloppy.

Oh no! What am I thinking? No Aleana no! You do not like him. You are being forced to do this. James is the enemy. Yes, the enemy! You have to fight it. He is a charming, beautiful man, but he is a womanizer. He's charming because he has experience. If I just keep this in mind, I can handle him. You don't want to marry him or anyone else. I must remember this. He cannot change my mind, I won't allow it. He gambles and drinks, I remind myself.

I sigh and sit back in my chair. If only that were enough to silence the thoughts in my head. The thoughts whispering 'Imagine being Mrs. Wellington. Having him smile that brilliant smile for you. Being held in those strong arms of his. Imagine calling him yours.' Those whispers are so loud they drown out my reason. I know that he's no good, but a little part of me wants him anyway. Why?

"Oh, be quiet," I groan.

"I didn't say anything, my lady," Liz states confusedly. I forgot Liz was in my chambers. Has she been listening to me talk to myself? I try to think of the things I've said aloud. I haven't said much, thank heavens. Liz cocks he eyebrow questioningly.

"I'm sorry, Liz. I wasn't talking to you. I was," I search for an excuse, "talking to a character in this book I've been reading."

"Oh," she nods her head, "the book you've been pretending to read? You haven't turned a page in half an hour."

I bite my lip. "I'm a slow reader?" I shrug. Liz rolls her eyes.

"You've been thinking about something. You have that far away air about you. Is this about your engagement?"

I debate whether to tell her or not. She always knows exactly what to do, but do I really need help? In the end I tell her everything. All about that day hidden under the trees, how he ignored me for the rest of the afternoon, and how I have been thinking about him everyday since.
When I am finished Liz just looks at me thoughtfully.

"Hm," she replies.

"Hm?" I question. "That's all I get? I've been thinking on this for days! Now I finally come to you and all that you say is 'hm'? Where are my words of wisdom? My proverbial thoughts? You should be telling me how careful I need to be. Warning me that all hunters use bait to lure in their prey! Telling me how bird catchers trick their prey into a false sense of security and well being before trapping them. Liz you should be telling me to keep him at arms length!" I exclaim.

She raises her chin. "It sounds, to me, that you already know what to do."

I blink back at her. She's done it again, that wicked woman. She answered me without answering me! I drop my head into my hands and groan.
"You are far too wise for me, Liz. Surly I am not the educated one. You were blessed with a wonderful brain. Pray do tell, what schooling you have, for I do not believe that this ability comes naturally to anyone."

She laughs and shakes her head.
"My darling lady, it would not take scholar to see that you have your first crush." I raise my head and look at her in shock. "Leave it to you to pick such a tricky man," she chuckles before walking out the door.

"I do not have a crush on James!" I call after her halfheartedly. I rub my hands over my face. "I have a crush on James," I whisper.









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Okay, short chapter. Nothing particularly interesting happens.

I'M SO TIRED! I NEED SLEEP.

If this is a bad chapter, I'm so sorry. I just don't want to keep you waiting.

Thanks for reading, commenting, and voting it means the world to me. You have no idea. :*