Fade Into Me

Chapter 16

Katherine

"Hey," Jasmine, who was sitting in the living room watching TV greeted when I walked inside our apartment said.

"Hi," I said.

"How was tonight?" She asked as she walked towards me.

I shook my head. "I was about to tell her the truth. I mean... I wanted to."

"But..." She prompted.

"But I didn't. I couldn't," I said, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Kat... It's okay."

I shook my head. "No it's not. Jas, I saw how happy she was... They were. I... I couldn't ruin it. Then there was Dylan, I was about tell the truth, but I couldn't do it because I knew I would lose him," I said through my tears. "I've fallen in love with him Jas..."

"Oh sweetie," she said, as she wrapped her arms around me.

"I have to stay away from him."

"What?"

"I have to stay away from. How can I be around him when I'm keeping the truth from him and his entire family?"

"What about Lia?" She asked.

"I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to cause her pain. When I saw her, it hit me, if she finds out, I don't know what it would do to her and her family. She's married and she has kids. I've known that, but seeing it... For the first time, I think my mom is wrong. I think it would do more harm than good to tell Lia the truth about what the past."

Jas sighed and nodded in agreement. "Some things are better left unsaid," Jas said.

"But it's killing me, because I made a promise to my mom..."

"So what are you going to do?"

I closed my eyes, as my lips shook with tears. "Like I said, I'm gonna stay away from all of them. I can't be with Dylan, around his family, knowing this secret and not being able to tell them. And somehow I want to believe that my mom would understand why I'm doing this. Why I can't tell Lia the truth," I said.

"The catering?" She asked.

"I only need to meet with Dylan one more time for the taste test. Then at the party, I'll be behind the scene. And after that, it's done."

"He won't make it easy," Jas said.

"Then I'd have to make him be the one to walk away."

"How are you going to do that?"

"I don't know," I replied.

"But maybe it doesn't have to be this way, maybe you can tell Dylan the truth and he'll be okay with it. You and your mom were a victim in all this as well. You can tell him who you are and..."

"That's just it, Jas. I don't even know who I am," I said cutting her off. "I mean, who am I? Who was Katya? Who's Katherine? Would this be what I would have been doing had I not gone through all of that? Is this who I really am or is the who I've convinced myself I need to be?"

She sighed. "This is about what I said..." She said guiltily.

"You were right..."

"Kat, you're guarded. That's all I meant. You don't let anyone in because you're afraid of getting hurt. You're afraid of people finding out about your past and not accepting you because of it. But Kat, you are who you are today because of everything you've gone through. You're the strongest person I know and I wish you could see that. All I'm saying is that don't let the past dictate your future. Don't let it get in the way of you're happiness."