Aaron Flex

The Beginning

     I've never had a day of comfort in my life. From birth, I've caused nothing but pain. My father wanted a strapping young boy, and my mother was just happy to be a mom. I was born a month early, and I was only 5lbs. I spent 5 weeks in the NICU fighting for my life when it had barely started. I was already a disappointment to my father. I was sickly growing up and couldn't escape any virus or flu the world threw at me. My mother was always there to nurse me back to health, which in turn pissed my dad off. Honestly, he probably hoped for me to die, one less thing to worry about. He started forcing my mother to ignore me when I'd cry about not feeling good. If I wouldn't stop crying, he'd hit me across the face. I can't count how many times I missed school waiting for bruises to go away. It got so bad that my mom couldn't continue watching. I remember her putting her whole body weight on me to keep my father away. Hearing his fists collide with her body. I hated him then, and I hate him now.
     At age 10, my mother ran off, and my dad blamed it on me. He said if I hadn't been a waste of space, she would've stayed. For years I believed those lies. I needed to start protecting myself at 16, I was peak age for all of his dreams. His dreams of a quarter back son, popular little pretty boy. Have girls swooning over me wherever I went. Instead, I became the opposite of that. I started getting into fights, failing classes, skipping them altogether, and I started doing heroine. It was only supposed to be one time, but it felt so good to escape the trauma that I couldn't stop. God, if my mother saw me today, she'd be so upset too. I was still sickly, but I guess heroine doesn't really help with that. My father still tried to have his dream son by scheduling "hangouts" with his buddy's sons. We never hung out. I would simply give them Adderall and they would tell their fathers that we had a blast. I had no interest in them, and they had none in me. My dad bought it for a little while until one of the guys ratted. I walked into the house to a fist in the face. My dad proceeded to tear into me, explaining how my mom would be ashamed of who I've become and how much of a disappointment I am. I don't even listen to what he says anymore. I know my mother and what she's done to try and protect me. Would she be happy? Absolutely fucking not but I know she'd understand.
    As much as I hate my dad I hate being covered in bruises and cuts even more. I began pretending that I was friends with the football team to get some freedom from my dad. You know the deal, drugs in return for safety. Fortunately they're fucking stupid and happily take the exchange. This saves my ass until senior year. Last year of highschool, last year living in hell with my father. I've been saving for the past 3 years to get a house. Any money I could spare I put into savings. I barely ate and I had to cut back on my dosage of heroine. Let me tell you, it was so fucking worth it. The day I graduate I move into it. It's way too big for just me but I'll manage. Been living my entire life by myself, won't change now.

To be continued...