Aaron Flex

A New Start

     Without heroine the nightmares are 10 times worse. Every night I was in rehab I had them, and every night I had 3 nurses holding me down while they gave me a sedative. They didn't care that I was terrified. All they cared about was keeping me quiet. And as I lay in my own bed I still feel terrified. Each nightmare feels more real than the last. All I can do is scream and cry.
     I wake up to Trip shaking me and telling me it's alright.

Trip- "Hey, Aaron wake up. Wake up, you're ok. Im here, you're fine."

     He pulls me into his arms and all I can do is sob. I wrap my arms around him and hold as tight as possible. As I sit there I start to come to and feel safe. He always makes me feel safe.

Trip- "Hey, you ok?"

Me- "Yeah, they've been bad without the heroine."

Trip- "So...you're clean?"

Me- "Yeah...I couldn't let you down...I didn't want to lose you..."

Trip- "Even if you didn't walk out of that rehab center clean i still would have been there. I wanted it to be true but I knew I could never leave you to slowly kill yourself, or even just kill yourself. We've been through a lot and I know that if I were to leave you you'd kill yourself in a second."

Me- "I wanted to when I realized that no one had shown up today to pick me up. I even called you and you didn't answer."

Trip- "I was busy with a meeting, I'm sorry. I rushed over here as fast as I could when James called me. I'm sorry, I didnt think you'd be out so soon. I guess I'm an asshole for assuming."

Me- "If anyone were to wake me up from a nightmare, im glad it was you. You always make me feel safe after one."

Trip- "I guess I better stay with you for awhile to make sure I'm the only one that wakes you."

Me- "I would like that. Wait, what was your meeting about?"

Trip- "Oh nothing important, nothing you should worry about at least."

Me- "You'd tell me if you needed to right?"

Trip- "Of course."

     Trip ends up taking my spare room and plans on staying with me for a couple weeks. We go to the kitchen and Trip makes me food because I havent had a decent meal in 90 days. We are in the middle of eating when we hear a knock at the door. I get up to open it and it's Ivan. When he realizes its me he picks me up and kisses me. It lasts forever and I cant decide if I wanted it to happen. I thought I'd be happy to do this but all that runs through my mind is that Trip is watching. What does he think? Then I remember that Trip doesn't love me like that and embrace it, even if I'm not sure about it.

Ivan- "So, does this mean that you're completely sober?"

Me- "Yeah, completely."

Ivan- "Thats great! How is your wound? Did it heal up good in there?"

     I lift up my shirt.

Me- "Completely healed. The nurses took good care of me while I was in there."