Aaron Flex

Ivan

     I woke up in the hospital bed and I see James fast asleep in a chair beside me. He looks uncomfortable. The pain that shoots through my body as I go to adjust myself is crippling. I let out a little sigh and I see James start to stirr. When he realizes im awake he jumps up.

James- "Hey, how are you feeling?"

Me- "I'm in a shit ton of pain but other than that fine."

James- "Let me go get a doctor."

     He jumps to his feet and goes into the hall looking for a doctor. My eyes widen as I see the tall, muscular figure of Ivan walk through the door with flowers. Why is he here?

Ivan- "Hey, I just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing."

Me- "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Ivan- "I know we aren't on the best of terms... I just couldn't sleep without knowing you were ok..."

     I'm shocked. Here he is, the man who wanted sex without even knowing me standing there saying he was worried. Maybe he does care.

Me- "I didnt realize that you cared."

Ivan- "I'm sorry for how I treated you, I didnt mean to come off as an asshole."

Me- "It doesn't matter. You're making up for it with those stupid flowers."

     He chuckles and looks down at the flowers.

Ivan- "Yeah, I figured they'd be good because people traditionally bring people in the hospital flowers. I guess they don't always work."

Me- "They're not that bad."

     He walks over and hands me the flowers. I sniff them and they smell surprisingly very nice. He sits down in the chair and we just talk. James and the doctor come in and tell me that it was a clean shot through and was very easy to stitch up. He says that I can go home in a few weeks.
     Ivan visited me on the hospital every day and when it was time to go home he wheeled me home. I didn't realize how nice he could be or that he even cared. He takes me to my bed and lifts me up and gently places me in bed. Feeling helpless in his arms wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
     Ivan stayed with me as I was healing, he cleaned my wound and helped me get dressed everyday. Jeremy visited often but everytime he came Ivan would tense up and give him daggers the entire time. I have to admit I enjoyed Ivan being there more than Jermey.
     A month had passed since I had been home and I heard yelling coming from the living room. I get out of bed and hobble my way out. I see Ivan and Jeremy yelling in each others faces.

Ivan- "You need to leave."

Jeremy- "I have every right to be here. We're together if you haven't noticed."

Ivan- "We both know what you want from him and im not going to let you use him like you do everyone else."

Jeremy- "You have no idea what you're talking about."

Ivan- "So you're going to tell me that you don't just want him for sex and drugs? How fucking stupid do you think I am?"

Jermey- "So what? Its not like he doesn't enjoy it."

Ivan- "I'm not going to let you do that to him! He doesn't deserve to be used!"

     All I can do is stand there. The man I thought I could finally open up to and love only wants me for drugs and sex. This is the reason I dont open up to people. They never care about me. They don't want to spend their life with me. I listen to their entire fight until Ivan notices me and runs over to me. He picks me up and takes me to my room. As he does this he tells me to not worry about their conversation.
     Ivan tucks me in and goes back out to the living room. He yells at Jeremy to leave and I heard the front door slam.

Ivan- "I'm sorry about that, it was nothing."

Me- "I heard everything."

Ivan- "...I'm sorry."

Me- "It makes sense, why would someone actually be into me."

     I lay my head back and stare up at the ceiling. I feel Ivan get into bed next to me. His hand gently grabs my face and turn it toward him.

Ivan- "You are worth loving Aaron. I wouldn't be here if I didn't care about you."

     Why do I feel like this? Why do I want him to pull me in and kiss me? This is the guy who trued to force himself onto me and here I am having feelings for him. He reads me mind and he moves his body towards me. He slowly inches his face towards mine and we kiss. Words can't describe how amazing this kiss was. It felt like a piece of me was missing until he kissed me. He made everything melt away, the pain, the heartbreak. He filled every hole in my life when I didnt think anything could.
     I didn't think something could feel like this since Lucas. He made me want to love again, to give myself to someone again. We layed there just kissing, he didn't make a move or push me to go further. He just pulled me close and kissed me. He was so gentle that it scared me.
     When we stop kissing he pulls me in and wraps me in his arms. I fall into a deep sleep listening to his heart methodically pound. How can I trust him? How can I lay here and forget what he did to me? Why should I?
     My thoughts drift off as the dreams come. The dreams...the dreams of love. The dreams that make me want to live and love like I did before. They fill me with joy but the thoughts of doubt still trickle through.

To be continued...