Aaron Flex

What To Do

     I wake up to Trip shaking me again. Telling me I'm alright and he's got me. I'm sobbing harder than I ever have. I'm squeezing Trip so tight that I feel my nails digging into his back through his shirt.

Trip- "Hey, it's ok. I'm here."

     I manage to speak through the sobbing.

Me- "No, its not alright! I can't have the same thing happen to you!"

Trip- "What are you talking about? What was the nightmare about?"

Me- "Its wasn't Lucas...it was you!"

     Trip lays me down on the bed and lays next to me. We are face to face, and he's wiping the tears from my face.

Trip- "It wasn't real, I would never let that happen."

Me- "I can't do anything like that to you. I care too much about you. I would never forgive myself."

Trip- "Hey, it won't. I promise you. There is nothing that would cause something like that to happen. Nothing. I'm here I'm never leaving."

Me- "Why me? Why of all people are you into me? I have nothing to offer. I'm an addict, an asshole, and I fuck up everything."

Trip- "You are an addict but you're sober, and even if you weren't sober I'd still be here. I was there for all those years, your worst years. Even with you being an asshole I stayed. I dealt with it because I knew you were struggling. You push people away when you've given up and I wasn't going to let you do that. I knew you needed me. You don't fuck up everything either, you have just surrounded yourself with terrible people. Even that isn't your fault. You couldn't have known."

Me- "So I'm just some helpless puppy? What the fuck happened to me? I used to run things, I was top dog. People never fucked with me because they knew I'd fuck them up. What changed?"

Trip- "This isn't highschool anymore Aaron. This is real life and there are manipulative people out there. You started putting yourself out there and they used that against you. It's not your fault."

     We stop talking as we hear a knock at the door. I look at Trip and get up to go see who it is. I look through the peep hole and it's Ivan. Shit, what am I supposed to do? I just confessed my love for Trip and Ivan is in love with me. Why do I do this? I want both of them. I know Ivan and I didn't start out great but he's made up for it. He took care of me...but Trip has been there through it all. I dont know what's going on.
     I open the door and Ivan hugs me.

Ivan- "How are you doing?"

Me- "I'm good, still sober. Unfortunately."

Ivan- "Don't say that. If you want I can help take your mind off of it."

     Ivan smirks as he grabs me and comes in. He starts unbuckling my jeans and I struggle to stop him.

Me- "Ivan stop...please stop."

Ivan- "Oh come on, it'll help relieve some stress."

     He picks me up and starts kissing me neck. It feels so nice but Trip is only sitting in the other room. He puts me on the couch and continues.