simply tired

chapter fifty four

things are nothing but simple and everything but simple at once.

Luke loses his grandma and it shatters him for a while. they're at school when it happens. Luke's next to Michael at the lunch table, and the counselor walks up,
"Luke, can I see you in my office, please?"

"why?"

she sighed and looked around to not be heard, but she even looked concerned talking in front of Michael- who was tucked into Luke's side,
"private family matters that need to be discussed."

Luke felt Michael sigh softly against him and he spoke.
"there's no one else here but you, Michael and I. you already know what's up, I don't know what's up, and my boyfriend doesn't know what's up. please just fill both of us in, because he would be the first to know about anything, anyway."

she crossed her arms and stiffened but tried to cover her uncomfortable manner with a soft tone in her voice,
"if you insist. this morning, your grandmother passed away in her home in Perth as a result of her kidneys failing," her voice was soft and she gave a sad frown before continuing.
"I am terribly sorry and will be in my office if you need to talk, okay?" with that, she walked away, her heels echoing under her feet; the sound lessening as the cafeteria's crowd increased in volume.

Luke's shoulders had dropped and his mouth closed in a line and Michael's words were caught in his throat. he tried to speak but he couldn't. he felt awful for Luke, he didn't know how to possibly comfort him. his mind did a little of the work for him, and now he had a hand resting on Luke's shoulder.

before Michael could finish saying that he was sorry, Luke was up and out of his seat and the cafeteria.

all Michael could do was curse under his breath and pray that his lungs wouldn't give out as he started chasing after him. Michael had run from Luke once, but he was actually running from Luke, from love. he knows it was a piece of shit move, but he's accepted long ago that he's a fuck up.

yet now, Luke's running away from loss, from shock- maybe even from the fear of being comforted. however, what's most important is that Michael is chasing him.

Michael speeds past the locker numbers that Luke had a moment ago, wishing that his endurance was a little better. his feet are padding on the concrete of the quad area and it gives him far too much saddened clarity to feel the pain of his harsh steps. he needs to hold Luke and tell him that everything's going to be okay, but he can't fucking catch him until he stops.

Luke stops when he pushes through the school's front doors and braces himself on the brick wall. Michael jogs forward and catches the door before it closes, using his remaining strength to walk up to the brick wall. the wind is harsh against his skin and the wind is all he hears until there's a choked sob.

Luke is bent over the wall, resting his head in his forearms.
"she wasn't supposed to go yet- not yet!"

Michaels heart twisted and he wished Luke would stop banging his fists on the bricks because he was worried he'd really hurt himself.
"I'm so sorry, Luke."

Luke's energy warmed for a split second then it was back to heartache.
"she was fine! at fucking Christmas she was smiling and putting red food coloring in the cookie dough-" Luke laughs but it's bitter,
"she was herself, you know?"

Michael's mouth curved up at the sweetness of Luke's words, but it still hurt to see him like this.
"yeah. I'm so sorry, babe, I know how much she means to you."

Luke nodded and exhaled audibly, overcome with stress and sadness. Michael walked up beside him and grabbed his hand,
"let's just go to yours, yeah?"

Luke nodded, ignoring the fact that they're officially ditching school now.
"oh shit- my mom."

Michael gasped,
"oh shit."

Luke pulled Michael with him and walked swiftly to get into his truck. as he's starting his car and pulling out of the parking lot he says,
"why didn't she come get me or call me or something? I need to be with her!"

Michael tried to think clearly for a moment, and he answered the best he could,
"maybe she didn't want you to find out from her when she's like- crying. maybe she couldn't get ahold of you or something."

Luke nodded,
"yeah- okay."

Michael sat silent until his brain gathered some common sense. this was family stuff; Michael didn't need to stick his nose into this.
"where do you need me, Luke? I don't want to interrupt you and your Mom's grieving periods."

Luke shook his head, turning the corner and driving until they're on his street.
"I need you with me if you can be there, okay?"

Michael nodded,
"of course, whatever you need, Luke. I just want to do what you need."

Luke sighed softly,
"I just need you, alright?" his voice was so soft it broke Michael's heart, it was beautiful and sad.
"and I mean- when my Dad left, my Mom told me everything would be fine and that she loved me a million times, but besides quick reassuring words, she kept to herself. I was kind of alone for a few years, she didn't know how to do it." Luke parks in his spot and turns to Michael,
"she doesn't realize that she has like- a tendency to isolate herself. she gets so fucking wrapped up in no matter what emotion she's feeling and I love that about her, but it's hard when she doesn't really see anyone else's, you know?"

Michael nodded and his heart jumped a few times at Luke's intelligence that he hides so well.
"yeah, thanks for telling me all that. if your Mom doesn't want me here, though, please tell me."

Luke nodded,
"it'll be fine. I'm sorry to bring you into this heavy energy, I just can't be alone right now, okay?"

Michael nodded and they got out of the truck.

author's note:

I'm so sorry this is really sad, but I felt like Luke's side of the relationship needed to be explained. I didn't liked that everything seemed to be all sunshine and rainbows, and I wanted it to be more raw and honest.

anyway! I hope you like it, and I hope that you don't hate me for minor character death. the update shouldn't be too long of a wait because I know how the next chapter is going to go, and it should be longer than this one! it's just writing it that will delay me lol.

this only took me like two 1/2 weeks which is way better than recently so YAY.

this is such a long note I'm so sorry lol.
please vote & comment.

I love you guys so much!

-Jasmine :)