simply tired

chapter thirtysix

the boys managed to quickly change into clean and comfy clothes, before stumbling out into the cold air, running and laughing at Luke tripping on the pathway as they got into Luke's truck.

Michael had complained about the wind and the weather, and Luke had shushed him with kisses as the car heated.

they started driving, flipping a coin to decide to go left or right. it sounds stupid, but it didn't matter what it sounded like.

they somehow managed to wind up in an old ice cream shop.

the walls had been lavender and the booths had been white and blue, the mood of the place reminding the boys of a simpler time.

it reminded Luke of his eighth birthday party, which had looked similar to this, and he remembers how bright the world felt that day.

it reminded Michael of the- supposedly- happy tines with Ashton.

the fact that it reminded him of it was sad, of course, but the memories themselves weren't sad.
the memories just brought his state of mind to nostalgic.

the store reminded him of all of these things from his childhood and made him wish about what he had wanted to happen in his childhood.

what was interesting though, was that nothing was and never will be just like this.

nothing can live up to the look in Luke's blue eyes when Michael had blurted out randomly that he loved him as they were deciding what fucking ice cream flavor to get.

nothing can be as nice as it was when Luke had insisted that they have a little bit of each flavor, even if the flavor wasn't appealing, because he didn't want to miss out on anything.

nothing will be able to justify this memory, because of all these things that are creating the memory;
the sweet whispers, kisses and gentle touches when they're judged by other customers, the way that Luke had looked so exquisite when his head went back in laugher at a ridiculous joke that Michael had whispered under his breath.

the memory that will be triggered later on by something as ridiculous as the smell of chocolate ice cream, will not explain the cold breeze breaking through the air when a new customer walks in, and the way that it brings the musky smell of the city in with it;
the way the young children smile at Michael and Luke, because society hasn't managed to corrupt their minds into believing that their relationship is wrong.
also, it won't be able to bring back the way that Luke gets up in the middle of a conversation to sit on the same bench of the booth, similar to the way that they did that day when David was there. Luke had wrapped his arm around Michael and kissed him on the cheek.
Michael was so sad that he would miss these moments for two weeks. it seems ridiculous, but they are so used to being with each other every single day, that this will seem like an eternity.

author's note:

THIS ISN'T THE END OF THE DATE BTW.

I'll update again tonight.

it's my moms birthday! :)

-jasmine :)