simply tired

chapter thirty three

as the door swung open, Michael was met with a weak Luke with puffy eyes; a sort of pallor to his complexion.

Michael sighed and felt completely blank, unable to form sentences.

the only thing he could do was leap forward and hug Luke, hearing sniffles and he could sense that Luke must be crying. that thought alone, caused guilty tears to accumulate in his eyes, trickling down his face as he held on tight to Luke, who's arms were loosely placed around his back, and Michael wasn't going to complain about the fact that his back was littered with cuts.

when Michael pulled away, he looked Luke in the eyes, trying to see his expression, the dark making it rough,
"can we talk?"

Luke nodded slowly and turned around, motioning for Michael to follow him as he walked upstairs to his room.

when they walked into the well lit room and Luke turned around as he sat on the bed, he gasped, jumping back up and walking up to Michael,
"what happened?"

Michael looked away,
"I don't know."

Luke sighed,
"did your mom do this?"

Michael's eyed widened,
"of course not! I was upset and I- I guess I couldn't feel anything and I kinda tore myself up."

Luke's eyed softened,
"my baby," Luke got closer, his hand on Michael's cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't chase after you I just- I was so stressed out because I had been trying so hard to help and I felt like you didn't care."

Michael frowned,
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make you mad at me. you didn't have to chase after me. I do care- more than anything I love you I just- okay- where did you go, though?"

Luke became nervous,
"well I kinda went all weird and I just sat on the sidewalk until my mom went looking for me and I guess I had been crying a lot."

Michael reached up,
"I'm so sorry, Luke! I'm gonna work on it and it'll be better. I'm so selfish- fuck, I'm sorry! I'm always so dramatic and sad and it's just so tiring."

Luke looked puzzled,
"babe, what are you trying to work on?"

Michael looked at him as if it were blatantly obvious,
"I want to be better for you."

Luke chuckled,
"you don't need to change."

Michael sighed, chuckling,
"Luke don't lie to me. it's okay, we don't have to talk about it, but- just know that I'm working on it, okay?"

Luke sighed,
"I don't agree with you at all but I'm gonna pretend to agree with you so that I can just kiss you."

Michael rolled his eyes and brought their lips together, Luke bringing his hand up to Michael's back, who hissed.

Michael pulled away chuckling and Luke looked terrified,
"did I do something wrong?"

Michael laughed,
"I was leaning against a bush earlier, and it kinda tore my back up."

Luke's eyes became sympathetic,
"shit, I'm sorry."

Michael laughed,
"we're both such a mess, I don't know how this works."

Luke playfully hit him, chuckling, and kissing him once again.

•••

hours later, when they were laying together on Luke's soft bed, holding hands and sharing a comfortable silence, Michael spoke up,
"I really am sorry."

Luke turned so that they were closer,
"about what?"

Michael sighed,
"everything I put you through."

Luke took a deep breath and just held Michael, because he didn't know how he would ever be able to explain his feelings for the boy.

author's note:

so, this is the definition of a piece of shit.

this is like a filler I guess. it shouldn't be bc it's important but it sucks... I'm so close to not even updating it but I don't wanna make you guys wait.

-jasmine :)