Breathe

Chapter 14- Changes

The text left me thinking, staying up half of the night wondering on what it would be about. My dad came home that following Sunday morning, with a cheerful smile that I couldn't help but mirror. I decided not to tell him about yesterdays events incase he would take it to the next level. Actually, I decided to tell him nothing about any of the drama that I was going through, I felt like it would be pointless but also, I felt like he would react the same way my mom normally did. He shared with me joyous stories that happened at work, my dad was always seeming to be so happy. I want to be happy.

"Let's go on vacation!" His bright smile glowed as he soaked in his own words, loving the idea. "What do you say? You don't have much longer until you're out of school. We can go a week after your graduation." He seemed to have half of this planned out.

"A vacation?" I questioned, never been on a vacation before. "I mean, that sounds nice. Where would it be?"

"How about.." He thought for a minute, the only thing he didn't have planned out, the actual vacation. "Let's rent a beach house in California for a couple weeks!" He mocked a child's voice on Christmas morning, with so much excitement.

"Let's do it." I smiled, thinking of how peaceful it would be to be away from all of the drama, sitting in the sand, hearing the waves crashing on the shore, listening to the seaguls begging for attention.

That Sunday, we spent all day planning for the trip, even got the lovely beach house. All that really needed to be done was school, and sadly I had a month left of it. The next day, Monday, I dragged myself from the bed. Not putting much effort into looking decent, I put on light jeans, black Pink Floyd t-shirt, along with my black vans, and of course, not doing much to my hair I let it down with natural curls and waves.

Driving to school, I was preparing myself of what was to come.

I walked into school with a smile that weakly displayed on my tired and pale face, rethinking the events of Saturday, remembering how Niall came to save me, remembering what he said. Not wasting anytime in the halls to encourage any of the girls, I hurried to my first class before the bell had the chance to ring. I took my seat, sitting in silence, the teacher turned to me with a smirk.

"What are you doing here so early?" He stopped writing the lessons on the board.

"Eh, no friends, yaknow?" I said in a joking mannar yet I meant it.

"Ah," He chuckled, "very well then." He added before continuing back to his writing.

It wasn't until long that the bell rang for first class. Awaiting the class to be filled, I looked at my desk and nothing other than that. Hearing low talking, I caught on it was about me. I didn't care much at all for what anyone had to say to or about me at the moment, I felt numb. Everything was numb to me and I couldn't understand why. Just the other day I was ready to take my life because of everyone's thoughts about me and now I couldn't care less. Maybe Niall is still helping me in a way, since all I can think about are his calming words, repeating. His soft touch, his warm arms holding me tightly.

Cut it out.

I thought, he's just some Rockstar that looks at me just like any other fan. I'm just a noticed and broken fan.

My thoughts were cut as the teacher called out my name.

"Julia," he repeated but louder "could you tell me what this quote means?" He pointed to the writing that was displayed on the white board that read; "The scariest thing is that someone can be smiling while thinking of suicide."

"Oh," I was taken back at what I read, so I reread it over and over. "I think, whoever wrote this, is fearful for those who are faking to be happy just to seem fine, but deep down they are ready to have all their pain be left from them by ending everything all together." I thought outloud.

"That's good." He smiled at my answer.

"Do you think about killing yourself?" A girl was hurry to ask. Looking at who spoke, she made direct eye contact with me.

"Me?" I asked as she nodded her head yes.

"That's personal and also none of your business." Another girl said, seeming to defend me in a way.

"Why do you want to know anyways?" A boy spoke up.

"Class," The teachers deep yet soft voice filled the room only to have the room fall silence "thats enough." He cleared his throat before continuing on with the lesson to be tought.

I made it to lunch with very little problems, but of course with no surprise, those two girls were back but now with a couple others. I sat without saying a word, waiting for Hannah.

"Where's your friend?" One of the blondes asked. I stayed silence.

"Don't be rude, answer her." The other blonde said in demand. I remained silence.

The continued to ask me questions that I left unanswered, that was until Hannah came.

"What are you doing here?" She spat at the girls.

"Just trying to make conversation, that's all." The Queen Bee said with a slight of the smirk peering at the corner of her lips.

"Do it somewhere else." Hannah said bluntly. "There are other tables."

"But only two whores who just so happen to be sitting at the same table." She tilted her head with a light giggle.

"Dumb," Hannah looked at one blonde "Dumber," she looked at the other, "she talking crap about you again." She pouted sarcastically.

"I wasn't, but cute try," The girls' smile faded. "You two have to be the biggest joke."

"Would you shut up?" I raised my voice, looking over at the girl, "I'm so tired of hearing you talk." I sighed as I heard Hannah lightly laugh, "Honestly, put on some big girl pants and come talk to me like a person and not some trash can. Get over the fact that I'm friends with someone you are in love with." I stood up as Hannah did so as well, "Not like I'm having sex with him," I smiled, "yet." I added before Hannah and I walked out to find another table. I vaguely heard the girls exchanging trash talk and swear words.

"Where'd that come from?" Hannah smiled, feeling the rush from my choice of words.

"I don't know," I giggled softly, "I'm just tired of being walked all over by some girls that think that they own Niall."

"Good for you girl!" She smiled, half hugging me tightly.

When I got home that afternoon, my words to the girls somehow got to instagram and twitter.

You've got to be kidding me.

I thought, scrolling passed all the degrading comments that teens have left about my actions. I finally decided to let it go, for the night, and just post what I wanted to post.

"Such a lovely day, other than the fact that people have to be so disrespectful about ones friendship with another."

I tweeted. Seeming to be clearing up most of the dating rumors, fans began to actually take a liking so me. I even got the chance to scroll through some positive comments and tweets.

You're so beautiful.

I love how you're standing up for yourself.

I don't know how you do it.. Having so many people talk down to you, you're still strong.

I don't care if you and Niall aren't dating, I still ship you.

Jiall anyone? I love it.

You seem like Nialls Princess.

My new OTP.

A smile couldn't be hidden behind a mask of emotion after reading through so many of those comments. My cheeks heated to a blush, as a huge weight was lifted from my chest.

That was until I got a text from Hannah.

"Hey.. I'm starting to get a lot of hate... I don't think I should be seen with you much longer, I don't deserve this. I haven't done anything to get this hate."

My stomach dropped, dropping further down the more I overread the message. Not having anything to say back, I locked my phone, setiing it down. I took a breath in, slowly breathing out.

I'm back where I started.

I thought to myself.

The week went by slow, being alone at lunch with almost all eyes on me was growing on me when it shouldn't be. Wednesday, I caught sight of Hannah at lunch, with the girls who once harassed me. Our eyes met as her smile faded and my heart breaking. Thursday, her and the girls, walked right by my lunch table that I sat at alone, each having there own stare down with me. Sadly, they were winning.

Friday was different, I took my seat, just like any other day but a girl I don't recall seeing before, took a seat along with me.

"Hi, I'm Jade" The girl spoke with a smile slowly forming at the corner of your lips. Her eyes were a beautiful blue, almost like Nialls, her smile was bright and glowing, addicting in a way, her voice was soft and caring with every word she said, and her light brown hair, a shade darker than blonde, was long ending just passed her shoulders.

"Hi, I'm Julia." I weakly flashed a smile, a fake one, but a smile.

"I know," She said with a giggle slipping from her lips, "Nialls friend, right?" her eyes looking to be seeing through me, through my pain.

"Yes," I said, realizing she used the word friend, "not meaning to be rude, in any way, but why are you sitting with me?"

"Well," her beautiful smile faded, her eyes grew with emotion before she began to speak, "I've read a lot of the things people say to and about you, and even hear it from some of my friends." Her eyes dropped to the table before easing back up to mine, "I want you to know, I'm here for you. I see you eating alone, walking alone, and it looks like you don't have anyone, and I know this may seem like I'm using you to get to Niall but I'm not everyone needs someone."

I soaked in her words, feeling the passion she spoke with in every word that slipped so naturally from her lips. I softly thanked her with a smile, no longer fake. "That means a lot to me," I smiled, "I-" before I had the chance to finish, the bell rang for lunch to be over.

"I'll see you Monday." She smiled sweetly, standing up and waving goodbye, walking away.

Strangely, I thought about Jade for the rest of the school day, thinking about whether or not to believe her. I thought about it, I mean, I opened up to Hannah and just look at where we stand now. What if I'm wrong again?

I decided to give in and give Jade a chance.

The next week she sat with me everyday at lunch, smiling at everyone who passed and stared. She started to share with me a couple of stories from her past and childhood. Turns out she's from a different school like me and she wasn't the most liked there. Slowly, I started to share with her relatable stories that I didn't even have the will power to tell Hannah, scared she would judge me of my horid past. Jade never once asked anything about Niall or anything remotely close to the subject. The week with Jade went by fast and during that week, I grew close to her. We exchanged numbers before Friday.

Studying for exams, I got a text.

"Hey! I'm up for some ice cream, do you want some?" Jade texted.

"Now that you mention it.." I giggled to myself before sending back a text to her.

"You gotta scream for the ice cream.... Yeah, just kidding, no one should have to work for ice cream. Do you want me to bring it over? I don't want you mobbed." She replied within minutes.

"Yeah, that would be awesome!" I sent along with directions to my house.

It took about 20 minutes until I heard the ring of the doorbell chime throught the empty house, with my dad at work, I hurried to greet hopefully Jade. Hoping right, I helped her with what seemed to be about six tubs of ice cream.

"I thought you meant ice cream cones." I laughed, dropping them on the kitchen counter.

"I thought about that too, but then I thought about still waiting more afterwards so I got this much just to be sure." She smiled, taking them out of the bag as I put them in the freezer.

"I ordered some pizza, if you're in the mood for that too." I smiled. Not eating all day had me craving for so much food.

"I'm always in the mood.." She said with a straight face before brusting into laughter.

That night, Jade and I ate all the ice cream and pizza we could before we developed a food baby. As we were laying in the screening room, my phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I said with slight of a laugh from Jade's joke she just told.

"Juls, are you okay?" I heard Nialls voice in a panic.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" My laugh stopped and my tone changing within hearing Niall.

"Hannah tweeted out your address."

"What?" My heart began to race as I jumped to my feet, leaving Jade in a worry.

"What's going on?" Jade asked with concern in her eyes.

"Hannah, she told everyone where I live.." I said to her.

"Who are you talking to? Are you safe?" Niall asked, eager to know.

"I'm talking to my friend that's over, Jade." Just then, there was a loud smashing of a window from the livingroom.

"What was that?" Nialls voice deepened.

"A window breaking-"

"Get out of there, now!" He cut me off.

"Okay, I will."

"Be safe, Juls.." He said before the line cut.

I looked at Jade that seemed scared, "Come on." I said, rushing to the livingroom, catching sight of a couple girls in the front of my house, with many things to be thrown. "Up for hide and seek?" I joked.

"Shouldn't we get out of here?"




*Hopefully this is long enough for you guys since I see a lot of comments saying to make the chapters longer. As you can see, I'm getting bored with it so I'm just making up crap but I'll update tomorrow with a better chapter!

And if you follow me on istagram, FeelsDepartment, I asked for a name and I picked Jade. HORRYAY!

Comment, vote, READ!

I love you! ~Mara *