Breathe

Chapter 13- Saving

*Warning: There are very graphic events in this following chapter.*

"Hannah.." I said with little emotion in my tone, while the feeling of being numb overtook my body, "Hannah, get up.." I lightly shook her body, awaiting for her to get up which didn't take long.

"What's wrong?" She said, half asleep.

"You posted the wrong picture last night..." I handed her my phone, still monotoned.

"What?!" Her eyes widened as she took sight of the phone screen, displaying the photo that was never meant to get out. "I'll go delete it!" She reached for her phone.

"Why?" My voice cracked as I began to scroll through my mention that was filled with mixed messages of love and hate. "The picture is already out.." I spoke softly, reading over a death threat, and then another, following another.

"I'm so sorry," She adjusted her body closer to me, resting her hand on my back, "I didn't know.." Her eyes locked with mine.

"How am I going to go to school, now?" I shifted my eyes to the ceiling, holding back tears. "I can already fell the eyes staring at my every move.. Hearing the words fans have to say to me..." I eased my eyes closed, hoping for the darkness I was experiencing to intake my body.

"Don't worry, I'm here for you, I promise.." Her soft words traveled, easing only a little of the pain, "I'll be right by your side... I'll walk you to class." She smiled, which tugged a smile to my lips. "These people don't know you." She took the phone from my hand. Then it hit me, my smile fading and the pain from these people's words refreshing.

"You're right, they don't know me, but yet they hate me so much.." Taking back my phone, I decided to just exit out of Twitter. Just then, I got a text, from Niall.

"Hey Juls, I just noticed what picture you had posted and I don't think that was much of a good idea.."

I read over the text about five more times before finally thinking of what to say.

"It wasn't meant to be that one, Hannah must have posted the wrong one..."

"Posted the wrong one? Shouldn't she have double checked? Juls, your life is now in danger all because she didn't make sure. I need you to be safe, some of these fans aren't just talk. I'm coming over.." He texted back not too late after.

"I don't know how she got them mixed up, but what's done is done.. But I'm fine." I responded.

"I'm sorry.." Hannah's soft voice brought my attention away from my phone.

"It's okay." I weakly smiled, "That photo was bond to get out sooner or later, right?" I faked a laugh before my emotion was sucked out of me as I locked my phone. "I have to get ready to meet my dad for lunch, I'll see you Monday." I said before standing up and heading to the bathroom. After shutting the door, I heard a vague 'Goodbye' from Hannah, followed by doors shutting. I wanted to be alone, alone to cry as much as I could. People hated me, and for what? Because of a picture that meant the world to me but probably nothing to Niall?

I dropped to the floor in tears, my mind imagining the tweets and mentions about me.

Kill yourself

You don't deserve him

Who would actually ship this?

Can this be like the titanic, but instead of the boy dying, can the girl?

Guys, its okay because she's ugly

The listed went on and on. I took a sharp inhale of breath before breathing out with tears rolling down my heated cheeks. I don't deserve him. I thought to myself, starting to believe everyone who was saying it. Kill yourself. I thought outloud. I'm not worth it. I added. I shut my eyes tightly, my heart pounded through my chest.

I took one more breath before getting up to get my blade, hidden below my sink. Turning on the water to the sink, for noise, I looked at my scars on my leg. Dragging a finger over them, tears falling feeling the pain that caused me to make them. Taking the blade in my hand, I pressed down into my leg, dragging it across, creating a bloody line. I screamed out as the pain that I once only felt inside, was now on the outside. I took another breath before doing another, and another. Making many lines, they all stood for something someone said. I cried out as the pain on my leg drowned out the pain inside.

Kill yourself.

The tweet repeated through my mind until it finally got to. Sliding on sweatpants to cover my leg, incase my dad comes home, I went downstairs and into the garage. I searched for minutes in different places, finally finding what I needed, I grabbed it. I grabbed the rope and headed inside, as I did, I heard a knock on the door. I stood there, silence, waiting for whoever it is to go away. Moments passed before I didn't hear anything. Thinking it was okay, I went for the stairs with the rope in my hand, blood seeping through the sweatpants. Suddenly, the door was kicked in and there stood Niall in the doorway with David.

"Julia!" His deep irish voice sent fear through my body. I have to go through with it. Without taking a second thought, I hurried up the stairs with the rope, hoping to lock myself in my bathroom. "Julia!" He called out again, following me. Before even making it to my room, I felt his hands on my body, holding me back, and grabbing my hand causing my to drop the rope. Tears brust through my eyes and down my cheeks.

"I have to kill myself!" I cried out loudly, reaching for the rope.

"No, no you don't!" He said deeply but in a hush, hugging me in his chest tightly.

"I have to.." I fought to say through my tears, my body growing weak. "I have to..." I repeated but softer, tearing racing.

"Breathe.." He spoke softly in my ear, wrapping himself around my shaking body, I gave in and stopped moving. "You don't have to..." He said once again, pushing my hair out of my face, his hand slowly going to my bloody pant leg, "You didn't have to do any of this.." His voice cracked.

"You don't understand..." I struggled to compose my weak words through the pain and tears.

"Help me to." As he spoke, my eyes rose to his. His eyes filled with waters, eager to fall. "Please.."

An hour after Niall busting through the door, we were in my kitchen, with my leg wrapped. I told him everything, everything about my selfharming and everything about my past.

"Niall, you have to be going if you're going to catch the plane back in time for the show.." David said in disappointment.

"Come with me." Niall said, his face lighting up with the idea.

"I have school, I can't just leave.." I regretfully rejected the offer, even though I would love to.

"I don't want to leave you." He slowly placed his hand over mine, "If you ever need me, please tell me." He pleaded with his beautiful blue eyes.

"I promise." I smiled, feeling the butterflies come back. "You saved my life."

"You're a life worth saving." He smiled at his cliche line.

"Be safe." I spoke, not wanting him to go.

"You too, Juls." He stood up, pressing his lips to my forehead. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what country or state I'm in."

"Thank you, Rockstar." I smiled, but it soon faded as I felt his lips part from me.

Watching him walk out was hard, but I couldn't help but think, I'm the only one feeling it. Being left alone, once again, I went up to my room to clean up the mess in my bathroom and to wash my sweatpants, and of course to put the rope back. Later that night, Niall texted me.

"The boys and I are writing a song. I can't wait for you to read it."

　

*Okay, so I warned you guys in the beginning. Maybe it wasn't too graphic but yeah. Sorry, it's a pretty weird chapter and kind of like a carrot fanfic but it will get better, I promise! SOOOOO.

Comment and vote if you actually liked it!

I might be updating tomorrow!

I love you! ~Mara *