All the love

37

It was as if the world was spinning but Niall was standing still. He agreed to the after party and he ate the food, but it was as if he were someone else. He now hated Liam because he hadn't let them sit together during the dinner. The dance began, and all seemed to be going in different directions, even Harry. Niall chose to sit still and he remembered the first time he met Harry.

"Breathe!" he said to himself. Niall closed his eyes and he said it out loud again. "Breathe, don't forget to breathe."

"So we already got sex in your fantasies?"

The voice got Niall to jump. Harry was behind him and he was bent down against him so that his lips were at Nialls cheek.

"Huh?"

Harry laughed mockingly.

"Breathe?" He moaned a little. "It sounds as if you have thoughts of another place and time?"

Niall swallowed and he frowned.

"And what do....!"

Harry interrupted him quickly.

"Why didn't you answer when I called you?"

Niall closed his eyes and he swallowed.

"My cell phone is under your bed." He opened his eyes. "When did you cleaned that room the last time?"

Harry slid down into the chair next to him and he looked straight at Niall.

"And why didn't you answer me by Liam?"

Niall was quiet. He realized one thing.

"I asked Liam to say something to you, but..."

Harry finished the sentence.

"He didn't do it?"

Niall swallowed.

"It seems like that...?"

Harry agreed. He raised a hand behind Nialls back and he looked straight into his eyes.

"So how are you?"

Niall smiled weakly.

"I feel crap."

Harry got a smile.

"Me too!" he whispered hoarsely. "And the reason I feel bad is that I did everything wrong and I'm sorry about that."

Niall had many things to say. He swallowed and he didn't know if it was time to be honest?

"What does it mean to be engaged, for you?"

Harry was surprised.

"Why do you ask that question?"

Niall swallowed and he looked down at the table.

"For me it means something important, something for life and something that affects us forever. I don't want to just throw up a couple of rings and say it's okay. It must be more feeling behind and more..." he swallowed. "More love!"

Harry put the other hand on Nialls thigh and he looked straight at him.

"Yes, I did wrong!" he whispered hoarsely. "But please, don't let me suffer for the rest of my life."

Niall looked up and he met Harry's eyes.

"I wont torment you, but it would be quite good to understand what it means to you."

Harry frowned and he hesitated.

"My parents divorced and I don't know how it is to see the relationship grow, but I'm sure that's what I want."

Niall swallowed.

"And how do you know that you want that?"

Harry smiled weakly.

"Every time I look at you I just want to scream right out and tell the world that I love you more each day as rolls by."

Niall looked into his eyes and he was totally tired mentally.

"Harry, if you only knew how much I wish you were the one for me and the man I'm going to live with, but..."

Harry put his hand to his lips.

"Niall, I may not be perfect, but I know that I love you and I wish I could be the man for you."

Niall took his hand away.

"YOU didn't let me finish the sentence?"

Harry leaned back in his chair.

"What is it you want to say?"

Niall hesitated. He looked around, but they sat in a place where not many people were moving, so no one heard them.

"You've fucked with others on film!"

Harry coughed.

"Huh?"

Niall swallowed.

"That night when I left you, I saw a movie with you, and I saw that you had sex with her."

Direct Harry had a smile on his face.

"OK, why do you think that?"

Niall frowned.

"You did that face."

Harry was amused.

"That face?"

Niall nodded and he tried to explain.

"The face as tells me that you like it and think it's nice. You can't fool me!"

Harry grinned. He sat right in front of Niall, and then he began to groan. At the same time, he showed such a face, and he groaned as like he came. He then was serious and then he smiled at Niall.

"I know what I look like when I get there and I use that all the time when I play a movie."

Niall was impressed.

"Are you serious?"

Harry nodded.

"And that's what I've tried to tell you. You can use the same expression when you are with others, and it looks like a scene that's real. It's all about getting to know your own body." He put his head askew "I have never lied to you and I will never lie and do you know why?"

Niall didn't know what he wanted to know. Harry smiled and he took both Nialls hands in his.

"Because you affect me around the clock and I can't be without you. Thanks to you now my wine cellar are half-empty."

Niall understood nothing.

"Wine cellar?"

Harry laughs.

"Let's just say that I drank wine that has cost me money, just because they had a date that was on the bottle."

Niall didn't understand much, but he surmised.

"Were you drunk?"

Harry laughed, but he was also ashamed.

"Yes, I was anything but Harry!"

Niall frowned.

"Why?"

Harry became serious and he tried to bring out the right words.

"I lost myself when you disappeared."