light.

comfortable

•lia•

i was in my living room staring at the ceiling. last night was a bad night. i came home and slammed my front door so loud that the entire complex probably heard.

but to be fair, i was pretty pissed.

so i was surprised to hear a knock on my door. and of course it was luke.

"let's go for a walk," he said without hesitation. he didn't even let me say no. "grab a jacket. it's a little chilly out."

so i just decided against arguing with him and grabbed my army green jacket and shrugged on and also slipped on my black vans.

we walked down the stairs in silence and down the street. i didn't ask where we were going but i didn't really care. and i was happy when i noticed we were heading towards the park.

we started walking down the sidewalks in the park, our arms brushing against each other.

"so any reason you seem extra cold today?" he asked calmly.

"had a bad night yesterday," i said curtly.

"want to talk about it?" he asked.

"my friends were just being assholes. they said some things that got me really angry and upset," i told him.

"that sucks," he commented. "this is why i'm your best friend."

i laughed as he dragged us over to the swing set. there weren't any kids on the swings which surprised me. luke had me sit down and he started to push me.

"you know i'm always here for you if you want to talk," he said softly.

"same goes for you," i smiled.

luke stopped pushing me for a second. i noticed him staring at a guy smoking. i couldn't tell if he was looking at him with longing or disgust or a mix of the two.

i don't know how it happened but we ended up talking about the different concerts we had been to when we were walking home.

he told me about seeing blink-182, all time low, bring me the horizon, and the countless bands he saw at warped tour. and i told him about seeing beartooth, we came as romans, crown the empire, my experiences at warped tour, and also the one time i went to cochella.

"if you could see any band that ever existed live, who would it be?" he asked me.

"either nirvana or the beatles," i responded.

"but what about my chemical romance?" he asked almost offended.

"the thing about my chem is that there is still a chance of a reunion concert where all the members can get together to play for a show, while nirvana and the beatles can't do that because some of their members are dead," i explained.

"true."

we walked up to my apartment and went into my bedroom. luke immediately jumped onto my bed pulling me with him.

we both groaned when i landed on him. but when i tried to roll off him he wrapped his arms around me to keep me in place.

i grabbed my phone and connected it to my bluetooth speaker on my dresser to start playing music. the cure started playing.

"i have a question," he said.

"that's nice," i smiled. he rolled his eyes and mumbled for me to shut up.

"how did you get into this music?" he asked anyways.

i thought about how to answer for a minute.

i had gotten into punk music as a way to distract myself from everything and everyone. at the time music was the only thing i could ever rely on. it was the only constant in my life. it was always there.

i remembered hearing nirvana and blink-182 on the radio and liking them so i looked them up and began finding other bands like them and as i got further into it, i began liking more hardcore bands but i still had a soft spot for alternative and indie music.

"i heard nirvana and blink-182 on the radio and became obsessed so i looked them up and started trying to find other bands like them," i explained. "what about you?"

i watched him think about it for a minute.

"my older brothers would listen to rock and punk music so i sort of grew up on listening to it," he said.

"are you and your brothers close?" i asked.

"yeah, not as much any more because we've all moved out and stuff but i still try to keep in touch with them. plus i still see them every year for the holidays."

i could tell he loved his brothers a lot. even though he mentioned how they used to bully him, i could see the way he looked up to them. 

"do you miss them?" i continued pestering him.

"yeah," he sighed. "i miss all of my family for the most part but i like being on my own."

our conversation faded out. we laid in silence but it wasn't awkward. i never felt awkward with him. it was nice to just lie with someone. by then, we had tangled ourselves together in a pile of limbs. and somehow i was still comfortable. i was always comfortable with him.