Clarity || z.m

Never

Hi guys! So I have another Zayn Malik fan fiction that's currently ongoing called 'East Of Eden.' I'm letting you all know because this was written almost 10 years ago. I'm 23 now and am writing wayy more differently so I wanted to take the opportunity here on wattpad.  It's dark, more dramatic, with violence/blood, sex the whole nine yards so viewer discretion is advised because it IS 18+.  NOW GUYS WITHOUT FURTHER ADOO- Clarity.

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When I was younger I saw my daddy cry & curse at the wind. He broke his own heart as I watched as he tried to reassemble it.

When I was little, my dad would read me fairytales as bedtime stories.

But by any means... it didn't mean I believed in them.

Growing up, it gave me every reason not to. I watched my mom break my dad's heart countless times before she picked up & left.

That left my brother & me to grow up without a mother.

When she was gone, I watched my dad cry himself to sleep almost every night & fake a smile for the sake of his children, when everyday it ate him alive that he couldn't keep the love of his life happy.

Because of this, the walls I've built so high around me are priceless & precious. They've become my most prized possession. I worked so hard building them, and because of my mother, no one is capable of knocking them down.

Because of my mom, I don't believe in fairytales. I don't believe every girl deserves their prince. There's no such thing. There can't be.

Because of dear ol' mom, I promised myself to never love anybody.

-Flashback-

Summer 2002

She thought since I was young enough, I would never understand.

Unfortunately, I did.

I understood everything that was going on around me, unwillingly of course. Because of my own mother, even at the age of 11, I had to force myself to grow up fast & watch my little brother.

The sad thing about it?

She didn't feel the least bit bad about what she did to us. She didn't feel sorry for the permanent damage that she would have on her kids because of this. She wasn't sorry for hurting my dad, Mason... and of course, me. Her little girl, her only daughter; the daughter she vowed from the moment I was born to teach me how to do my makeup, how to do my hair, and all about boys.

Instead, I had to watch her leave in the middle of the early morning, before my dad got home so he wouldn't stop her. It wasn't like she would listen, but just so she wouldn't have to see the disappointment on his face. My mom didn't want to have to keep pitying my dad.

She was leaving with that disgrace someone would call a man.

The man who would allow her to drop her kids off at one of their friend's house & suddenly something would 'come up' where we'd end up having to stay the night elsewhere because she was too busy doing God knows what with that... absolute piece of crap.

I wish I didn't know all these things at such a young age, but unfortunately I did. I wish I didn't have to think so maturely about certain situations. She took away my childhood, the one thing that I was supposed to treasure the most. She stole it from me. My mom thought I didn't know, but I did. I knew too much. I knew way more than an eleven year old should know.

One last time, my mom looked around the entry way before walking out the door.

She didn't even look back. Not once.

She didn't even say goodbye.

Tonight was the last time I ever let myself cry.

Never again would I allow myself to feel such a heartbreak or unexplainable pain when I watched my mom walk out the door & never walked back in.

Author's Note:

Okay, so I know it's not thaaaat good so far, but hey, it's a start. This is gonna be different than anything I've written about, so hopefully, y'all check it out & like it :) I promise... Zayn feels are comin atcha.

Lemme know what you think!

Also, don't forget to check my other Zayn Malik fan fiction that's currently ongoing called 'East Of Eden.' Remember it's something a little different and a lot darker than Clarity so viewer discretion is advised.

FAN. VOTE. COMMENT.