my heart wasn't like this before (jelsa) (genderbend)

(Chapter 28) What is wrong with me?

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Jackie's pov

I was confused, and stunned by this one simple question, but since I can't say the answer, I guess to me, it's really hard. It got me thinking more about if I really love him or do I just like him as a friend or an enemy? I've been thinking real hard, that I kept going through danger, and that my friends has been saving me from it or just warning me about it, while other people were starting to worry about me.

Dangers I've been through? I've almost hit a wall two times, I almost fell to the ground, and I almost dropped my plate, that I was holding. I kept forgetting little, and some big things.

"Hey, Idiot! Are you pretending that walls don't exist anymore or are you just acting stupid?!" A familiar masculine voice shouted as I hit a wall again! What is wrong with me? It's just one question! Why am I so worked up about it like it's a test or it will cost my life, if I don't answer it?

"I don't know, if I should call by your name or just call you nicknames." He said which made me annoyed.

"Shut up, and if you don't know what to call, ask the one that you're implying. Call me by name!" I said as I parted away from the wall, that I bumped into, and crossing my arms annoyed , while looking at the platinum blonde haired boy behind me.

"Alright then, I'll call you Jacqueline." He said, which made me flinch at the name.

"Not that name! That's too long, and a mouth full to say! I meant call me by my nickname!" I shouted at him, turning around and facing him.

"You want me to call you dumb or idiot?" He asked, I widen my eyes at him. I sighed irritated at him.

"Just forget it, you're impossible." I said.

"Someone is extra salty today with a lot of clumsiness next to that person." He said, smiling at me looking amused.

"Oh, shut up." I said. "Why are you even here?" I asked crossing my arms, and glancing at him.

"Isn't it obivious? I live here, what do you think?" He asked.

"No, I know that. It's just why are you even here talking to me, right now in the first place?" I asked, looking at his shocked expression. I glance down the floor, while blushing a light pink. It was a moment of silence.

"Because I...." He said, and stopped talking for a bit. "It's because I...." It's was like something was stopping him from talking or it's just him not wanting to say it. I looked up at him to see him looking down the floor. I then heared him chuckle.

"Huh?" I asked looking at him.

"Because the others are just busy, and you're actually the only one I can talk to." He said, like it was obvious. "But then you seem to be un-aware of your surrondings, that you din't notice me following you." He said while rubbing his chin pretending to think.

"Just shut up!"

"But really why are you so cranky today? Are you on your month?" He asked, which made me blush red.

"No, I'm not! And stop saying stupid things, you're not even helping me with my problem here!" I yelled. "Actually your presence isn't even helping me here." I continued looking at him head to toe.

He then frowned at me.

"Why is that?" He said still frowning. I just looked at his frowning face in silent, we were having a staring contest. I don't know why, but he's staring me down like he's a crowd of people, and I'm on stage. I can't answer his question, I can't be all like 'I'm thinking if I love you or not, so just leave me alone so I could think about my feelings again.' I can't even say that to anybody! If I say that it will only be an akward silents, and he'll keep staring at me, while staying silents for the rest of my life!

He'll keep staring at me till the end of time. While eating together, while talking to family, Heck! He'll probably just nod at the priest, when we get married! After that, he'll stare at me, while I'm sleeping, and I'm going to live with the guy for the rest of my life, till he or me dies!

My eyes were twitching at the thought of that horrible thing. Maybe, will even be barried to the same grave? The thought of His eyes being are open even though he's dead, and is staring at my dead corpse is just giving me nightmares.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked looking at me. I just stayed still, and looked at him like a statue. I saw him smirk.

"It's like you're in love with me." He said while smirking at me.

"W-What?" I blurted out with shutter as I felt the blood rushing through my cheeks, and my heart beating so fast. I don't know if my heart is beating from what he said or is it nervous of being afraid of getting caught. I swear, if it had to be him that had to be first know by a simple shutter. I'm gonna hide under my covers for a week!

His smirk faded as it was replaced with a confused look. "Why did you shutter?" He asked in a soft voice that he used when he was aiding me. "Are you really in love with me?" He asked again in a serious yet soft tone, last time he said it was a joking matter. He stepped forward up to me, as he got closer to me, I stepped back, but as I kept steping back, my back pressed against the wall. I was about to run to the other hall, but he pinned me to the wall. "Answer me." He said close to my face. I just stayed silent as before. "If your answer is 'yes' then." He stopped for a moment.
"I don't feel the same way as you do." He said, which made me shock, and I felt my heart breaking into pieces.

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