Yes. It's another book. I know I must have told myself thousands of times to NOT start another book, but it was begging to be written.
Why?
You'll see. But anyway.
First, the crazy disclaimer:
Hello. My name is King Disclaimer. I am here to write a rather overly large disclaimer for you, and you have to read it anyway. MWUhahaha!
1. The attitude of the characters and narrator in this book may be the exact same as the author. Don't blame him anyway.
2. The more failure parts of this book are probably taken directly from the game. Don't blame the author.
3. The large, probably quite obvious and really kinda rare nearly non-exsistant exiting plot-twists are (more like is, the singular form) taken from the game. Be alarmed. (The smaller, more awesome plot-twists are likely created by the author) so don't blame the author. (For what, I don't know.)
4. This book does, /slightly/, mock the game. /a little/. If you really, really, really, LOVED the game, don't read this. Or don't blame the author.
5. Yeah, there might be a few spoilers in this book. Like Mewt- sorry. Won't say anymore. So by continuing to read this book, you formally agree to hold absolutely NOTHING against the author. Again. If you haven't played the game, it is your choice if you want to read this book. But you agree, by reading anymore in this book, to hold absolutely NOTHING against the author. Okay?
6. If the creator of the game is reading this, feel free to use /a few/ things I point out to improve the next ranger game. If nothing else, please get rid of the we. Yes, the dreaded we. Please.
And thank you.
Now, start the book!
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I said, Now, start the book!
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Oh right. I forgot. I have to start off by explaining the start of this book for everyone reading this who hasn't played the game.
This book starts, very very randomly, with our hero flying somehow on a staraptor, WITH a ranger styler that happens to be very leveled up (somehow, you haven't even captured a SINGLE pokemon yet) with a random stalker who is flying beside him on another staraptor. Apparently, she is his 'partner'. SINCE WHEN??? Honestly.
So, it is not my fault the book starts this way, without any plot basis WHATSOEVER. Blame GameFreak or whatever. I mean, I kinda slightly see their reasoning, starting off 'exciting', but why start off exciting when... it'll get boring in a few minutes anyway?
Anyway. Enough critiquing. Had to say that.
Now, finally, start - THE BOOK!
---/1/---
Everything is black. I can't turn my head. Suddenly, a picture of someone who (wow, that's a coincidence) looks exactly like me, as well as a picture of this random girl appears.
A voice resounds in my head.
"Are you a boy? Or a girl?"
Um... could this be like more obvious?
"Sorry. Incorrect-o answer. Anyway. I'll just select one at random. You are... a gi-"
What the arceus???
"Ah, whatever, you're a boy."
Um... ok...
Suddenly, everything goes bright. Really bright.
And blue.
"AAAGH!" I scream, suddenly falling in the middle of the sky.
Wait. I'm not falling?
I look down.
A staraptor? Why the mew is a staraptor under me?
"Hey, partner, com'on and catch up."
Suddenly, there's this random girl beside me.
"Um... what?"
And then a bunch of random 'evil' people started firing laser balls at me.
Whoops. Getting ahead of myself.
"Get your staraptor to hurry up!" she yells.
"How? And who are you?"
"Just focus your pokemon ranger abilities more, idiot! And stop goofing off, you know who I am!"
"What's a pokemon ranger?" I shout back.
"You are, idiot!"
"Um... what???"
"Just hurry up!"
I lean forward on the staraptor, trying to be more aerodynamic. Suddenly, it shoots forward.
Um... what?
I've caught up with her, deciding to skip the who are you questions for now.
"Um... why are we here!?" I yell.
"Come on, we're here cause Prof. Hastings asked us to come here, to the Oblivia region!"
Prof. Hastings? Oblivia region?
Suddenly, I notice two people dressed in green in front of me.
"Who are they?" I ask.
"People!" she shouts. "And they're going to attack, so I'm outta here!" Suddenly, she and her pokemon dive beneath the clouds.
"What?!" I'm about to go after her when a random pidgey dive-bombs me.
Please draw lines around the pidgey with your capture styler.
What in the world is a capture styler?
Keep drawing loops until the gauge is filled up.
What gauge?
Then the pidgey attacks.
End---/1/---End
Okay. Sorry, it's a little short. Anyway. Like it? Hate it?
COMMENT!
Thank you.
YOU ARE READING
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