Because I Love You (Destiel & Sabriel)

Those Three Words

As soon as Gabe and Cas entered the kitchen, Dean looked up at Cas and Cas found Dean's eyes. Gabe stopped, noticing the leer game forming and stood there with Cas as he stared at Dean and Dean stared back. They were both lost in each other's eyes observing the pain and the little shine of hope when Gabe cleared his throat and they were pulled out of their trance.  

Dean instantly broke the eye contact, looking around for he had no idea what was going on and where he was. He looked at the plates in front of him and perceived the situation. He took a deep breath and took his burger, not really feeling like eating. His stomach was turning and felt as if his abdomen region was sinking in and would soon touch his spine. 

Gabe quickly took the seat next to Sam and Cas tried to rush but wasn't fast enough. He stood there and looked over at the chair next to Dean. There were initially three chairs at each side of the table but Sam had one from each side removed because of the stuffiness and the closeness at they were fitted to each other but now he had to sit next to Dean.

At least I can't see him directly. Cas thought. He sighed and sat down, avoiding eye contact with anyone in the room. He knew his eyes were swollen and he couldn't do anything about it, Gabe didn't say anything about it and Dean hopefully wouldn't say anything but Sam... He looked up at Sam who was slowly nibbling on his burger, something was wrong and he could feel it. 

Dean found it hard to breath, his heart plummeted as he literally could feel heat radiate from Cas's body and it somehow got into Dean's cheeks. He had been just holding his burger and hadn't taken a single bite, he didn't just feel like it.

Gabriel looked around at the tension on the table and grabbed his burger with a sigh and started eating. He nudged Sam and Sam looked at Gabe, Gabe gestured towards the burgers with his eyes and Sam only nodded. He then started taking bigger bites and eating, for Gabe even though he didn't feel like eating at all. Gabriel smiled a little and started eating his own, "Mmm... this is good." Gabe said with a mouthful and Dean looks at him, forcing a smile. 

Dean takes a small bite from his own when he heard another moan from across. Dean's eyes widened a little as he saw Cas taking huge bites from the burger and soon it was gone. He grabbed another and takes a big mouthful, working on chewing it. All of Cas's heed was to the burger in his hands and he didn't even realize everyone was watching him. 

Gabe and Sam both smiled and got back to eating but Dean. Dean couldn't help but gawk with the same feeling hitting him again, only this time was it stronger. He knew it was more than just a crush. He knew it was more than just friendship. But he also knew it was more than love. And the thing he wished he didn't know was their relationship would never work out. He was lost in his own assumptions and misconceptions not knowing what he was missing out.

***

It took a while but the burgers were soon finished. The majority was in Cas's stomach who couldn't even breath anymore because of over eating and then their were Sam and Gabe who held their puffed abdomens and laughed at each other. 

Dean sat there quietly, watching Cas from his peripheral as Cas slowly drank the juice Sam had given him for his stomach. Gabe and Sam slowly got up and went to their room, holding hands as they walked. Dean sighed as they were finally alone. He couldn't take the feeling of not being close to Cas anymore and decided he would talk to him.

Once Sam and Gabe was gone, Cas realized that him and Dean were the only ones in the kitchen and started to get up. Dean's heart plummeted as he noticed Cas was leaving and got up too, grabbing two bottles of beer. He opened the too and handed on to Cas hurriedly, hoping it would make him stay.

"I'm sorry Dean but Sam told me not to drink." Cas refused the beer without meeting Dean's gaze.

"Um.. what's bad with just one? I mean its not like he would know or something..." Dean said, hoping Cas would just agree.

Cas knew Dean was just trying to make him stay for it wasn't Sam who had told him not to drink but Dean himself. But the thing he couldn't understand was why Dean would even want Cas here. Maybe because he's just bored and wants to kiss me again? Or worse... Cas thought, looking at the bottle in Dean's hand.

Dean's anxiety kept increasing with each second that passed without Cas grabbing the bottle. Does he hate me now? But how could he... Dean kept debating when Cas grabbed the bottle and sat back down on his chair. Dean gave a sigh of relief and wiped a little sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand as he sat in front of Cas.

There knees bumped under the table but none chose to move theirs away. Dean's eyes were involuntarily fixed on Cas as Cas looked at the bottle in his hand as he took slow sips. The silence was tense and it only made Dean nervous so he decided to break it.

"So... um Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?" Cas looked up from his bottle but didn't look into Dean's eyes.

"I was um... I was wondering like... you do know me..." Dean tried to fathom his thoughts into words but failed miserably.

Cas tilted his head slightly, confused. "Yes I know you but, why did you need to make that clear?" he asked.

"No I mean when you said you love me and-" Dean was cut mid-sentence by Cas getting up.  

"You've made it clear Dean. More than once and I don't want to hear it again. You don't love me and I'm learning to live with it." Cas said nonchalantly as he started to walk away but Dean grabbed his wrist. Cas's eyes became wider as he turned and shook Dean's hand away, somewhat in anger of how many times Dean would make him go through this and half of fright if he would be able to take it anymore or not.

"Cas... please. At least just listen to what I have to say?" Dean pulled away his wrist, seeing the pain in Castiel's eyes.    

"Fine." Cas said though he took a few steps back and put his hands in his trench coat's pocket.

"Cas I know you're mad at me and you have every right to. But when you said that you wanted to be with me... You did realize that this relationship would never be easy, right?" Dean asked softly.

Cas looked down, "Yes, Yes I did." Cas said and assumed what Dean wanted to say. According to Cas, Dean just wanted to say it was just too stupid of Cas to think they could ever be together. He sighed and turned towards the door, walking away. 

Dean's heart started beating fast as he saw Castiel walk away and he couldn't figure out what to day when his mouth spoke up before his brain could even analyze what he had just said, 

"Cas for God's sake, I love you!"

∞

A/N

So... today was science and Bio and Chemistry were just amazing and even though physics wasn't bad it was kinda meh

Aannd now only languages and Social Sciences are left andthen omf I'm free!

I HIT 800 VIEWS JUST BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS! THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL! REALLY ALOT! YOU'RE THE BEST!

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