Secrets, Deals and Lies

How could you?

I get up and find Jack ignoring and avoiding me. ‘Morning, feel any better?’ I ask, happy to see him up and awake. He says nothing, drinking his water and looking out the window like he’s been brainwashed by aliens. I look around for Luke wanting to know an answer to why Jack is avoiding me. I find him lying on the couch watching some cartoon, laughing and enjoying it. He looks up at me smiling because of the TV show then drops the smile and looks away fast as soon as he sees me making my way toward him; pretending that he didn’t see me. I walk to him and he sits up cautiously as if preparing himself for my speech.

‘Luke, what's wrong with Jack? Did you tell him about… about it…?’ Luke doesn’t answer me instead he watches the screen nervously.

‘Luke!’ I say half screeching, he sighs then looks at me. ‘I’m sorry… Jack said he heard bits of what you said and forced me to tell him the rest, I said everything you told me and he got up – anger in his eyes as if he were to kill someone. Never talked to me since… 10am and now it’s like what? 12:30?’ He looks at me upset as if I had ruined their friendship.

I turn around to look at Jack and see him make his way outside, I follow him, but Luke stays inside lying back down on the couch watching his cartoon show.

I follow Jack to the back of the house, where everything happened last night; a shiver goes through me and my stomach clenches, anger, confusion and nausea surrounding me.

Jack stops and stands there for a while looking down at the plastic cup with scratches from being dropped, he turns around slowly now looking at me with sad, and almost regretful eyes, I stand there not sure what to do, wondering what was going through his mind.

He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me tightly as I do the same around his neck, I hold him tightly as if someone were to take him away and for some reason that’s how it felt.

Jack pulls me closer to his body and I squeeze his hair softly through my fingers; my head rested on his shoulder, eyes closed, as I feel his firm hold around me, his heart beating on my chest. I could feel the lift and drop of each breath and I wanted to cry because of everything that happened yesterday. What had I done? How could I have let that happened?

‘Remy… long time no see – eh?’ A familiar voice rings through my ears behind us. Daniel!?

Part of me sinks down – his voice just as I remember.

My legs all of a sudden feel like jelly and die on me just like that. I fall to the ground lying on my back, Jack preventing me from the fall by holding my arm gently. Daniel comes towards us and Jack does nothing but stands there, watching me with sad, regretful blue eyes. They look at each other as if they were friends, not best friends but good enough to know who one another is. I pull myself to a sitting position and face both of them, confused, sad and angry.

‘Remy, I’m sorry.’ Jack bends down coming closer to me and puts a hand on my shoulder; I shrug him off in anger and he gets back up standing next to Daniel, looking partly embarrassed but hurt by the rejection but also knowingly as if he knew this was going to happen.

‘How could you? I thought… I thought…’ I couldn’t find the words and my voice trails off.

I look at Jack who is now looking down at his feet in compunction, Daniel watching as I stare in antagonism – to the both of them, a tear slowly dripping down my face.

‘Come on Remy, let’s go home,’ Daniel says as if he can persuade me to come with him. I didn't want to look at either of their faces for they have both betrayed me and all I wanted to do was to scream and cry and throw a tantrum. But I knew better than to do that right here, right now, in front of them.