THE ONLY EXCEPTION (BOYXBOY)

Chapter Fourty: Part Three: SVMK

Day Six: The Ending Of Our Heaven

Sean’s POV:

I’d been on edge ever since I told Micah about McClane. He knows how I am about personal stuff. He would never put my business out there but I have this feeling that telling Micah is going to come back and bite me in the ass. Today is our last day in Fiji and I still haven’t talked to McClane. It’s not I haven’t had opportunities… it’s just I’m scared of what he has to say. What if he doesn’t want to see where this leads? I know we haven’t done anything yet but already I’m emotionally invested and that’s something I can’t control. Not being able to stop myself from liking him has me angry… not because I find myself liking a guy but because I hate not being in control of myself.

Last night at dinner I watched Megan and Kallum talk nonstop for three hours straight. If I was the old me that would have pissed me off. I would have said something or made my dislike known. This new me just couldn’t find the want to care. It’s not that I’ve stop liking girls it’s just all Megan and I had in common was the physical. I wanted her because she is the daughter of a Russian supermodel. She looks like she should be posing for Louis Vuitton. Besides the killer looks she is smart. I’m not calling myself dumb but compared to Megan I am an idiot child. She deserves to be with someone like Kallum… I mean they both were valedictorians. If that wasn’t a sign I don’t know what is.

Then there is Vivian. I’ve known Vivian for a while and this is the happiest I’ve seen her in a long time. All because she’s with McClane. He makes her smile and radiates this joy that no matter how much I want McClane I could never tear that away from her. I know about her family life. I know she struggles with it every day not to let the pain of not having her mom around get to her. I would be a heartless asshole if I did that to her… and I would never do that to her. I sat in the middle of my bed watching the sun filter through. I decided to skip breakfast with the guys. I didn’t want to pretend I was okay when it felt like my world was crumbling around my ears. Sighing I plopped back onto the pillows and closed my eyes. While I lie there wallowing in my misery there was a knock at the door. I would have ignored it but it was probably my breakfast I ordered from room service. Grabbing the robe off the floor I opened the door.

                “There you are.” Megan said. She held a plate of pancakes and bacon in one hand and a glass of juice in the other. Stepping aside I let her in and closed the door.

                “You didn’t have to bring me food.” I said feeling kind of awkward now.

                “It’s no problem… you missed breakfast downstairs and I wanted to make sure you had something to eat. I even have syrup packs in my pocket… and besides I wanted to talk to you alone.” Placing the plate and glass down Megan took a seat at the dining table. Taking the other chair I sat down and tried to look as normal as possible.

                “Declan and I have been friends for practically our whole lives. I was the first person he told about his sexuality and I’ve done nothing but support him because that’s what you do for family. He’s not only my best friend but my brother. I would kill for him… I’d rather not go to jail but I would kill for him… I say this because while growing up with Declan I learned and saw firsthand how he came to terms with himself. There were a lot of times I thought I wouldn’t see him the next day because the pressure of everything was weighing on him. He did some messed up things to himself trying to figure out how to be okay with being gay… I don’t want that to happen to you.” I felt like I was in a soap opera or something. I sat there with a mouth full of pancake trying to figure out how in the hell did she come to the conclusion that I was gay.