Speechless (Sequel to Breathless)

Best Song Ever

important authors note at the bottom PLEASE READ!

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Chapter 12

REMINDER!!!

Liam is BOLD

Niall is Italic

Josh is BOTH

-Liam’s POV-

So many thoughts swirled through my mind, I felt lost, but safe. I felt safe as I held onto Louis who was asleep beside me. I felt safe with him, a feeling I haven’t felt in a long while. I know what we just did was very wrong, I know I will have consequences but I know they are worth it. Louis is worth it. I looked down at Louis who was snuggled into my side, he still has his clothes off. I kissed the top of his head and sighed. I don’t know what Louis and I are, I don’t know if he even likes me. But I really hope he isn’t using me, I don’t think he would do that. He has Harry, I know they were fighting earlier but I thought they were getting better. I don’t know why Louis is allowing me to be with him, he is happily married to Harry for god sake. I feel guilty for doing this, I feel like he shouldn’t do this. Niall would hate me if he ever found out. I don’t even want to know what Harry would do if he ever found out. Poor Louis, he loves Harry. I know he does, the way he looks at him tells me he does. Whatever this is, that Louis and I have, it won’t last. I know it won’t. We aren’t compatible at all, we don’t have any of the same interests. We are complete polar opposites. But they say opposites attract though… What am I thinking! What am I doing!? I am ruining a perfectly good relationship between two wonderful people, who happen to be my very close friends. The guilt is starting to eat me up, we have to stop. But I don’t want to, deep in my heart I like this, I like having to hid and pretend like nothing happened. It’s a huge rush, a feeling I have never had to live with. I like not knowing if someone is going to find out about Louis and I, I know that sounds terrible, but I can’t help it. That’s how I feel. So I guess in the end, Louis is using me, and I am using Louis. It’s all equal. Louis stirred next to me, he has been out for about an hour. I wonder when he’s going to wake up.

“Li?” Louis mumbled into my side. I tightened my grip on his waist and looked down at him, he was looking up at me with his bright blue eyes. I smiled, but his eyes, his eyes reminded me so much of Niall. It only made that rotten guilty feeling burn deeper into me. I felt sick, I looked away from his eyes to rid myself of the burning.

“Hmm?” I said. He yawned and leaned his head on my bare chest. I pulled him closer to me, he looked content, happy.

“We can’t tell anyone about us.” Louis spoke softly. I sighed, I know we can’t. I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone, especially Niall or Harry.

“I know Lou, but you do know this is very wrong right?” I ask, allowing some of the guilt to bubble over into my words. Louis nodded against my chest but clung to me tightly. We got silent again, neither of us speaking. It wasn’t an awkward silence though, it was peaceful. Louis nuzzled into my side once again and I thought he had drifted off to sleep but he spoke again soon after.

“When can we see each other again?” Louis asked, I looked down to see he had a small blush on his cheeks. I grinned, he wanted to see me again? How sweet. I pretended like I was a very busy man and acted like I was thinking.

“Well, since I have so much to do, I think you should come by every night this week.” I smirk. He giggled but nodded. I laughed with him and pulled him tighter against me. He stretched up and pecked my lips softly. The familiar tingles left on my lips from the mere brush of his lips against mine. So that’s what we did, every night we did the same thing, Louis came by using the excuse he was visiting me and Niall. We would have, well, you know. And then he would leave. It wasn’t anything serious, we never made it more than casual sex. At least that’s what I thought. I never really thought about what Louis feelings were during all of this. I just assumed he felt the same way, I assumed he didn’t have any real feeling towards me. He never spoke of them, so that’s how it stayed. And we were both happy with it.