P: Letting Go T:Lost

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There’s these things I want to say

But I don’t know how to say them

Empty words but written promises

I wish I could say when I could say on paper

It’s not as hard as I make it

The thing is

It just doesn’t flow as well.

Even if you’re in the room I’ll write it

But saying it may take another day

This is going to be harder than I thought

I say as I try to read the words

But for some reason I have this feeling

I just can’t make it work

There’s these things I want to say

To you because I know you’ll listen

But the problem is that I can’t speak

I would tell you about the world if I could

I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you everything

But I know you’re okay when I am silent

There are times when I wish you would speak to me

But now I feel the that the phase is about to flip over

The way I used to feel

The longing that I feel

You’ll feel like I’m leaving you

Because I’m tempted to do so

Even though I know I need you

I want to go out into the world

And I know that unless I try

I won’t get anywhere in this world

I’m sorry to say

But I feel like if I stop

That’s when you’ll speak

So, Good bye isn’t a word in my vocabulary

But for you

See you later

May be the case

Because it used to be

I’ll be back soon

Or

It used to be

I hope to see you again

But now

I’m tired

And my hearts hurt way too much

I’m pretty sure

That we’ve evened out by now

Through the years that I treated you like shit

And the time that I’ve hurt myself because I did

Through the crying that I’ve done because I’ve needed you

And the times that you cried because I abandoned you

I’m sure that at this point

After two years

And then three more afterward

Two to experience the world

Together

And then after that

For the next three years

Three to recover

But now I’m being pushed

I hurt you too much

The worst mistake of my life

I guess I’ll just live it up

As much as I want you in my life

I rather not try

Any more than I already have

Because I’ve put you through so much

And that’s why I’ve lost the will to fight

I’ve lost the will to fight the tears

I’ve lost the will to run

After you

Anymore

I did something wrong

And I know that I did

And I know that I may not ever be forgiven

But I know what I’ve done

And if I accept the fact that I did it

It won’t hurt me anymore

And it wont have the ability to be used against me

So I’ll try it again

So here’s the last thing I have to say

I’ve been holding onto you for a while

And now that we’ve taken a break

If I’m still an infection in your heart

Then I’ll try to heal it with time

Because I want this to be done.

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