My Brothers Sexy, Bad Boy, Sport Playing, Girl Cheating Bestfriend (EDITING)

This Wasn't My Fault!

When we got to the hospital, I was already in tears, I was trying so hard to hold them back but, I may have just lost my twin babies, I heard that in rare cases. you can experience bleeding, but the scariest thing to me was that I got a major pain in my side. When I finally heard my name get called the nurse got the doctor into the room, almost immediately. The doctor put petroleum jelly on me, I was in even more pain now. Balling my eyes out, might made it more dramatic, but when you can have two deaths inside you, you get plenty some emotional.

"Please, Please Please." I heard Justin mumble.

I glanced over at him, he looked as if he were praying. I felt guilty for taking my eyes off the monitor I re-glued them and watched intensely. The doctor rolled the wand on my stomach applying pressure to get the image clearer. 

The doctor looked almost like he couldn't speak or find any words. "They're gone aren't they?" I asked, The doctor just shook his head then finally collected his words. "I'm sorry for your loss." He said. "In a few months, maybe you two can try again." He reassured us.

More tears burst from my eyes, I could hear Justin's whimpering. I turned to face him, But when I looked up to see him all I saw was the door closing. He left me. I was distraught, I was the one who was carrying the twins, I was the coffin they died in, I lost them too, not only him. The doctor left the room a few minutes later. He told me they were keeping me overnight for observation.

When I was ready a nurse came in with a wheelchair and brought me to my room. I got a text from Ryinn saying the boys were fast asleep I was to depressed to reply. I curled up into a ball and fell asleep. Pissed at Justin for deserting me, But so upset to care about him. I quickly fell asleep and had the worst dream of my life

"Why'd you have to kill me Nic!?" A voice echoed.

I was standing in a dark black room. Only a single spotlight was on me. "Nic answer!?" I heard the voice again. I knew the voice so well. It was Jess.

"I didn't mean to." I started crying. Then there she was. Another spotlight shining on her, Making her brown hair glow.

"Liar, you knew if you called me over to somewhere you were, I'd come running like the little puppy dog I was to you, and now look at me, I'm dead. All because of you, I should be married to Justin, I should of been able to actually have the opportunity to get married, or actually have kids, but no you had to take that away! So I took your twins! Happy Halloween you stupid Bitch!" She said I heard tons or crying then woke up screaming.

"Babe, Nicole, Nicole, come on wake up you're okay it's just a dream." I heard words try to soothe me. I sat straight up, screaming, crying and sweating.

Justin was basically holding me trying to make me feel safe. I was crying into his shoulder. "It was a dream, you're gonna be okay." He said.

"It was Jess, she took the twins because I killed her." I said. "Sweetie, that's not true at all, that can't be possible, It's not true." Justin said.

"I'm so sorry." I said hugging him.

"Baby I know you didn't do it on purpose." He agreed.

"Wait what?" I said letting go off him. "You think I meant to do this!?" I yelled.

"Babe you were asking if we could handle four kids one second then the next you're having a miscarriage, what am I supposed to believe?" He said pretty calmly.

"You supposed to believe me and know things like this happen, I would never sabotage my own, murder to kill my kids!" I screamed.

"Then why did this happen!" He yelled.

"This wasn't my fault! I hate you I hate you I hate you so much for thinking the things you're thinking!" I yelled.

"Oh so now you hate me? Good I hate you too! Go move back in with your brother, I'm tired of trying to give you the world but I can never fucking please you Nicole I swear It's not fucking possible to make you happy." He yelled.

"You getting out of my life and staying out of it will make me happy!" I screamed louder than I've ever yelled in my life.

Did I really just say that. Did my emotions, or hormones get the best of me. "Be careful what you wish for." Justin said grabbing his jacket and storming out of the room. After the door closed you could hear him kick at it and punch it. I wrapped my arms around my legs and sobbed.

After a few hours I was laying on my side, twirling a loose thread from the pillow case. The doctor knocked on the door and entered slowly.

"Mrs. Cartson, you're free to go, just change and you're already discharged," He smiled.

"Thanks." I mumbled. I sat up slowly after he left the room and grabbed the bag Justin had brought with him this morning.

It was a change of clothes, for just me. He must not of stayed the night that made me even more upset. I called Ryinn to see if he could pick me up from the hospital.

"Hey can you pick me up?" I asked quietly, almost as if I talked to loud, I'd break from being to fragile.

"Of coarse! Are you okay?" He asked Quickly.

"Honestly, I could be better but I can make do for now." I smiled.

When he picked me up he brought me over to his house where Maci was watching they boys, "Maybe you guys can go swimming for a bit?" Maci told Gracie, Chandler and Leo. They all ran upstairs to change before Chandler went upstairs I asked if he could help Leo into his bathing suit.

"How you holding up?" Maci asked. "Do you think he's gonna want a divorce?" I asked swirling my finger on the rim of my coffee.

"No way! Just give him his space, play a sport with him, or video games, or make him a sandwich and he'll love you forever." Maci said.

 "Well I told him I hated him and wanted him to stay out of my life." I repeated. "Oh you're screwed." Ryinn said walking to the fridge. "Great thanks Bro." I said getting up and patting his back. "Relax I'm kidding." He laughed.

"To be honest sometimes I miss it, waking up to Aunt Meah cooking us breakfast, me being the little sister you never wanted Justin to meet cause I was embarrassing, I miss waking up to you guys chugging any beverage that was in the fridge, I just miss it when everything was so much simpler and we were teens and he was just your friend, and I was just your younger sister, before all the kids, don't get me wrong I love mine but, It's one of those things, I wish I waited, I wish my kids had the same dad, either way it was, one of them wasn't with their real blood father, and I remember when Chandler would never call Justin daddy cause to him his dad was Louis, and it took so long to get him to understand it all.

That's what I really miss though, before it was complicated, where all we cared about was you guys winning your sports game, and where Jess and I just wanted concert tickets." I smiled as I quickly relived those memories in my head, it was so easy then," I would never trade my kids for anything in this world, but I really do wonder how my life would be if I hadn't dated Justin, Hadn't gotten pregnant, Jess hadn't gotten killed, Justin not lose his memory, I not date Louis, I never gotten married, Life was way simpler, But it was easier and I enjoyed it and I really miss it."

"I know you do." Ryinn said hugging me and kissing my head.