Believe: A Billionaire Romance

Chapter 20 THE PAST

Cassy's POV

I reached the hospital late at night. Around 11.30. Rumes was working on his laptop. He didn't acknowledge my presence when I got in. His dad was asleep.

"Hey." I said softly as I came into the room.

He looked up and forced a smile.

"You can head home." I told him as I took off my shoes.

"No, it's okay, I'll stay tonight."

I sighed. "Oh, please. C'mon. I promise I'll stay."

He started shaking his head but I took his chin in my hand, and made him look in my eyes. "Yes. Go home. You need rest, Rumes."

He looked in my eyes and grabbed my hand, but didn't remove it. He just gently caressed it. "Why do you care?"

I got the meaning of his question. It was not about him going home to sleep. It was about me being around him, and helping, even after all that had happened.

Maybe, because, I am falling in love with the wrong person.

But, I didn't say it.

"I don't know. I just... want to."

His hands stopped and his gaze turned a little hard. "So, you pity me?"

I laughed a little. And whispered, "How can I pity you? I appreciate this Rumes. I like the way you talk. I like it about you. I don't even know when I started caring about you, Rumes. But, I do."

And without any warning, he crashed his lips onto mine and I was shocked for a few seconds. I didn't want to kiss him back, but I did. I didn't want to grab his collar but I did. I didn't want to feel the thrill, but I did.

After what felt like a lifetime, I backed out, because I needed to breathe. I looked up at him. His face was flushed and his eyes shone. But there was regret written all over his face.

"I am sorry. I shouldn't have. I just couldn't control myself. You were close-and-and- you are with Jason. I am sorry."

And before I could even understand what he was saying, he grabbed his car keys and laptop, and mumbled a 'Good Night' to his dad, and left.

While his dad murmured in his sleep. "Good Night Jay."

As if I needed anything more to shock me.

***

I remembered the day, like a haze, not really clearly. I had been heading back to my home after the restaurant I worked at closed for the day. The street was dark and misty. 

I wasn't really paying attention to anything as I walked home, because I was thinking about how I was finally going to meet my- it may seem weird- lover face-to-face after years of chatting. we hadn't even video conferenced. I had never wanted to. I wanted our first movements to be real and pure.

I was a very melodramatic person, wanting to turn everything into poetry.

His username was Jayclarkson, his name was Jay. Mine was Andrea123 because I loved that name. It even sounded similar to my last name.

That night, I was just going through our chats, Jay's and mine. I wouldn't have known a tank blew off right next to me, I had been so engrossed.

Suddenly, there was this hand on my mouth, 2 hands gripping my legs and 2 gripping my torso. The rough calluses and the way they carried me told me that all 3 were men. One of them gripped my phone and threw it away onto the other side of the pavement where it did not break.

I was carried to a dead lane near the small apartments, where usually no one goes. I thought if this is the destination, then I may be able to scream and get help. But, they carried me even further near the bushes and the shed where there weren't even ghosts to help me out.

They threw me to the ground, laughed and they did... did things to me.

I screamed and shouted, hit one man in the eye, for which I got hit. I jerked and cried. I pleaded. I cursed. But they didn't stop.

I didn't know what was happening to me. I just knew that my soul was being broken into a thousand pieces.

I wasn't the one to really be blamed, except the fact that I wasn't paying attention, I later realized. It wasn't okay. It wasn't normal. But it wasn't my fault. But the whole time, every second of it, I kept thinking, that I do not deserve anyone anymore. That it was my fault.what would people say. I didn't deserve anything. I was just a broken girl.

It was wrong to think like that. But then, at that time, nothing was right.

When they were done, which I didn't remember because I had become unconscious, I was left like that. There only, just like that, behind the shed, like a tool.

Near dawn time, I woke up, and collected whatever clothes I could while I was naked and cold. I wore my coat, walked over the lane and picked up my fallen phone. I did it all in numbness. I couldn't feel anything. I walked back near the shed, to keep myself hidden. To ensure that no one saw me. And I didn't see anyone. I called my best friend. She picked up the third time. I didn't tell her what happened just told her to come quickly to where I was, that I was not okay, surprised to hear how dead my voice sounded.

I didn't tell my friend but she perhaps guessed. She arrived with the whole ambulance. People kept asking me questions, but I didn't answer them. Finally the medical report confirmed what had happened to me. Gang-rape.

Two days later, I had to meet Jay. It was raining. I had to leave the hospital that day because I was insisting. I promised coming for regular checkups for a week but I really couldn't bring myself to stay in the hospital anymore.

But, straight from the hospital, I walked to the little cafeteria where Jay was waiting for me. He had been easy to spot with how he had described that he had brown hair and he was tall. Plus, he was sitting on a couples' table all alone, waiting for someone, waiting for me. My heartbeat hastened it's pace on seeing him. I wanted to hug him, kiss him, cuddle with him. But I couldn't bring myself to.

I didn't have the power to do anything, so I just sent him a note through a waiter and a cup of coffee. I hated doing it. I cried doing it. But, I honestly felt like Jay deserved someone whole and good and.... just not me.

Someone better. Someone who could give him everything. I loved him so much. I couldn't see how he would be happy with me. He really couldn't have been with what I was like at that time. He would have undoubtedly helped. Made me better. I know that if I had him by my side then I would have recovered thrice as quick. I wouldn't have felt so alone. There were things I didn't tell anyone, not even my best friend. But I told everything to Jay.

But that is what I realize now. At that time, I kept repeating one thing- Jay deserves someone better. It became my mantra.

I still remember how I cried while writing the note. I couldn't even write properly. It was a small piece of paper, with a small, short note- Sorry Jay, I played you. Thanks for coming, by the way. Let's never meet again.

I couldn't think of anything better to write. I couldn't think straight.

That was 2 years ago.

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Next chapter coming hopefully soon.