my dads an assasin, gee, you picked a great job dad!

my dads an assasin, gee, you picked a great job dad! 15

Gentry was my personal guard so he just stood there near me while we talked.

"i swear, the only thing to eat is whoppers...."

"WHAT?! YOU GET WHOPPERS AND I DON'T?!" i screeched.

"i've already had like seven." he told me.

i threw him against the wall and pulled out a knife-all the girls screamed and fled-and  started yelling at him. HOW DARE THEY GIVE HIM A WHOPPER AND  NOT ME?!

i calmed down after a few minutes-or more accuratly, after Gentry promised to sneak me one-and then he went outside to 'guard' the door while the girl filed back in.

they were staring at me like i was a lunatic.

"whats a whopper?" voice 1

"yes, what is this mysterious 'whopper' you speak of?" voice 2

"does it taste good?" voice 3

"whats it made of?" voice 2

"where do you get one?" voice 1

"is it kosher?" voice 2

they kept asking me questions about what 'this mysterious whopper' until the bitchy one spoke up.

"its peasent food. it is not worthy of our delicate pallets."

"says the one who eat fish eggs." i retorted (caviar is fish eggs people)

she just stuck her nose out at me.

i'd had that stuff once....it was NASTY.

we all went down for dinner-more adequetly named a banquet-but we had to wait a while because a bunch of people had to taste it first to make sure it wasn't poisoned-that and they drank like seven times fom my cup.GROSS!-and then we got to eat it.

the food was good, i'll give it that, but i'd prefer my whopper anyday.

"So...." says Gentry.

"So...what?"

"I don't know. this is not what i signed up for." He said.

the two of us laughed.

"Me to man," i agreed.

"and i thought the food we had was weird." he muttered.

"what did you guys eat?" i asked him.

"how the hell should i know? the labels were in German. my mom forgot to teach me how to read it."

"Dude."

"So, what do fish eyes taste like?" he said motioning to the caviar to my left.

"i've already tried it. that stuff tastes like rat ass." i said.

"you ate him?"

i had to laugh. there was a guy in the school we'd gone to who's last name was 'arasnass' but it souned so much like 'a rats ass' that we changed his last name.

"says he guy who took the first bite."

Gentry made an exagerrated gasp.

we broke down laughing and Gentry fell down.

"Gentry!" i gasped through my laughter.

"oh, i'm fine!" he siad in the perfect Simbad imitation.

i had to laugh at that, then i helped him up.

"Rape!" Gentry cried.

i punched him-well, i punched his armor. then i swore in spanish-'maldicion!'- and then yelled at him. "you broke my hand stupid!"

"It wasn't me!" he protested.

"your stupid armor broke my hand!"

"hey, don't knock the armor." he sad.

"jackas..." i muttered.

we started talking in German for some reason.

the girls and me went back to my room while Gentry waltzed off in another direction.

"I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY NEXT WHOPPPER!" he yelled, knowng it would piss me off.

"WELL I CAN'T WAIT TO KILL YOU!" i hollored back.

we sat around in my room. the girls talked about the Prince of Jackassville. thankfully they had technology so i grabbed my MP3 and blasted Skillet. Open Wounds was the first song on my playlist. i just like the song, but hey, my dad was a great dad.

i sang along to it and then got a lecture from Miss Prisssy about how Skillet wasn't 'ladylike' music.

we got a letter from the Princess who i was inpersonating. i was supposed to answer all the questions she had abou my life and vice-versa, but what kind of questions are these?

* what is this 'whopper' made of?

* how do you eat this 'whopper'?

*where is thier king?

*what is this 'soda?'

*what is the difference beetween 'diet coke' and 'coke?'

*why are there no utensils-forks, knives, etc-provided here?

*what is this 'ketchup' they speak of?

*from where is the chicken imported?

*why is the salad quality so poor?

*what is this smoothie they speak of?

this was crazy!

sorry its so short, but i have to go