Understanding Love// Chapter 4

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Will

Now I only had two days to get Nico to fall in love with me.

Um.. I mean to get closer to him as a friend. Anyway, the point is that I was running out of time. Nico would never open up to me. He would never come running to me if he had a problem. He would never come after me even at three am because he had a bad dream and he wanted me to comfort him.

He would never do any of that, even though I secretly wanted him to. Sometimes, I would just sit on my bed in the middle of the night and stare out the window as if Nico was going to come bursting in with tears in his eyes. As if he would crawl into my lap and tell me that he had a horrible dream. As if I would cradle his tiny, frail body in my arms and tell him that I would always be there for him.

If only...

***
As I walked through the woods, I couldn't help but feel lonely. If Nico were with me, I wouldn't have been so lonely. But Nico needs to rest because he's still recovering from all that shadow-travel. Yesterday, he was too embarrassed to even look at me after what happened. I definitely made it awkward. I saw my chance, and I took it. That's the problem.

I took it.

I wasn't thinking about how it would ruin our friendship, I just wanted Nico to see me as something else. So I purposely pointed out the little 'problem' in his pants. Why does he have to be so dam cute no matter what he's doing? He's like a little puppy. He's my little puppy.

Keep dreaming, Solace.

I sighed loudly as I shoved my hands in my pockets and lowered my head. Nico and I having an actual relationship is just a dream. I need to get over him. I need to get over that precious baby angel that makes my heart skip a beat no matter what he does.

I looked up when I heard my name being called. I was surprised to find Nico running up to me. "Nico, you shouldn't be out of bed," I scolded him. As glad as I was to see him, I was also concerned. I am a doctor, after all. Nico sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. I just.. Well..." It wasn't until now that I realized that there were tears forming in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. "N-Neeks..?" I whispered quietly as I slowly reached out to brush away a tear. I gave him a look that asked if I had permission to do so, since I know he hates getting close to others and physical contact.

He bit his lip and slowly nodded. As I brushed away his tears and pulled him close, I couldn't help but realize how much I liked him. I hadn't thought about the fact that the day he would come running to me with tears in his eyes, that I would be in just as much pain as he would be. I could feel my heart dropping into my stomach as I watched him cry. He was literally killing me.

The sight of my precious little angel crying was killing me. It scratched at the inside of my stomach and then broke my heart, casting it away in a million pieces, leaving me with an empty feeling that I knew would be there for a while.

"Nico, don't cry. What happened?"

"I... I h-had a nightmare... Where I-I lost you and I realized t-t-that if I don't tell you this now, it could b-be too late."

I stared at him and raised an eyebrow. "Nico?" I whispered softly.

He looked up at me, stared me dead in the eyes and whispered, "I love you. I love you and not as a friend. The way I feel about you is stronger than any love I've ever had for anyone. Goddammit Will Solace, I love you!"

I was shocked that he just told me he loved me. He loved me. He actually loved me. He felt the same way I did.

And it was at this moment where all I could feel is the broken pieces of my heart slowly coming back together as they formed one giant heart. The scratching in my stomach was replaced with a million butterflies that scattered all over my stomach and made me feel alive. The feeling that made my heart feel as if it hadn't been broken at all. And maybe it wasn't completely perfect. Maybe it had a few cracks here and there. But it was okay and it was able to love and it was able to be loved and maybe that's just all that matters.

I cupped Nico's pale, cold cheeks as I stared down at him. He was just so beautiful. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because this beautiful boy made me feel so alive and happy. This beautiful boy gave happy a whole new meaning. It was incredible. I never wanted this feeling to go away and leave me with the empty feeling again. I've never felt so much pure sunlight and energy.

But that's when I realized it. I don't like Nico di Angelo. No, I don't. In fact, not even close. I love Nico di Angelo. He made me happier than anyone else. Denying my feelings is silly and stupid. You can't just fall out of love in one night. I know that love is powerful and scary. It could leave you alone and hopeless. It could take away that sunlight in your life and have you casted away into the shadows.

And by saying the three words I was about to say, I knew that if I said them, It would be giving Nico di Angelo permission to decide whether I spend the rest of my days living in sunshine with this amazing, warm feeling, or if I spend my life living in the shadows, alone, broken, and hopeless.

Nico was able to do that. He had given me permission. It's only fair that I return the favor. Because I love him. Because I love Nico di Angelo.

"Nico," I whispered quietly. "I love you. I love you so much, that it's scary. I love you so much that the idea of you getting hurt or being taken away from me is tearing me apart. I love you with every ounce of my body. From head to toe, Baby Angel."

I closed my eyes and slowly leaned in, wanting nothing more than to crash our lips together.

But that's when it happened. I slowly opened my eyes and the realization hit me.

It had been a dream.

Nico had not confessed any feelings. I could feel the emptiness washing all over my body. I wanted nothing more than to have Nico with me, so he could bring that feeling back.

It had only been temporary and it had only been a dream, and I had only felt it once, but I was hooked. That feeling was so amazing, it was like a drug and I yearned for it. I wanted nothing more than to feel it again. To feel Nico's hot breath on my face as we leaned in after confessing our feelings. But there was only one way to have that feeling back again.

I would have to get Nico to fall in love with me.

Two days.

I had two days to make that dream a reality. I sat in my bed and thought for a minute before a mischievous smirk crept its way onto my lips.

Just you wait, Nico di Angelo, because I swear on the River Styx that I'm going to make you fall in love with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: What? Don't tell me you thought I was actually going to have them kiss. Don't worry, the time will come but it will be better than this, trust me. Anyways, I'm so so so so so so so so sorry for not updating. I was depressed and I honestly was feeling so lazy and I didn't want to do anything. But don't worry, I'm better now. I had been planning to start writing this chapter tomorrow but I went on wattpad and this one user has comment 'Please update soon' and it just really put me in the mood and I became eager even though it's like almost like the middle of the night for me. Haha. Once again, super sorry. I'll try to update sooner. Love you guys! In my opinion, this chapter was a little cheesy, don't you think? Comment and tell me what you thought of it! ^_^

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