Trip to Your Heart - A Hockey Fanfiction

Nightmares and Road Trips

I woke up to Claude's voice, "Stella! Stella! Stella, baby, wake up, what's wrong?" I sat bolt upright in bed, sweating and shaking like a leaf with tears running down my face. Claude sat up and wrapped his arm around me, rubbing slow circles on my back. "What's wrong, Stell? You screamed and then you started crying and I couldn't wake you up."

"The baby," I sobbed into his shoulder.

"What baby, Stella? We don't have a baby," Claude said, clearly confused.

"My baby," my voice shook, "our daughter, she- she-" I couldn't finish. My mind replayed the image of the small girl with my eyes and Claude's curls smiling at me in the rearview mirror right before we were t-boned by a semi truck. I could still feel the car rolling over and over, hear the smashing of glass, and the horrible sound of metal scraping against pavement, but no sound came from the little girl in her car seat in the backseat. I turned around, somehow uninjured to see her sitting there, her beautiful eyes closed, and her neck bent at an unnatural angle.

My sobs echoed back at me in our otherwise silent bedroom as Claude rocked me back and forth, trying to get me to calm down. When the tears finally stopped flowing, he pulled back and looked at me, pushing my hair out of my eyes, "Stella, are you okay?"

I shook my head. No, I was not okay, but I would be.

"What can I do to help, babe? You scared the shit out of me."

"Just hold me," I croaked, my voice hoarse from crying for the loss of my fictitious child.

"Is this because of James Neal's question earlier? Because if he isn't injured now, he will be soon," Claude said, his voice taking on a dark tone.

"No, not really. He just brought it back-"

"I'm gonna kill him," Claude growled.

"No! Don't, it's not his fault, it's just an irrational fear I have," I replied in a rush. I didn't want James to get hurt, he was my friend, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to get back to sleep if Claude left.

"You always said you didn't want kids... Did you change your mind?" Claude asked, paling a little in the moonlight at the prospect of the responsibilities that came with being a father.

"No, I didn't, I just-"

"It's not that I don't want kids, because I do," Claude said quickly, "It's just that I don't want them now."

I couldn't do that. I couldn't give him kids. I had known that for a long time, and because of my fear I knew I would never be able to handle having children. I began crying again.

"Babe, what's wrong? I'm sorry, I'll stop talking about it," he kissed my forehead and pulled me down with him so that I was laying with my head on his chest. Claude ran his fingers through my hair and I started to calm down. My breathing slowed from a hiccuping sob to a steady, deep pattern that matched Claude's.

I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat, "Thank you."

"For what?" He murmured, his accent thick in his drowsiness.

"For staying with me," I replied my voice barely more than a breath.

"I'll always be here for you, Stella."

The next afternoon, Claude and I went for a walk around Philly in the crisp November air. He had a beanie pulled low over his eyes and I wore my souvenir winter hat that I got on a high school trip to Washington D. C. Our gloved fingers were interlocked and Claude swung our hands playfully as we strolled through a park. "I miss the leaves on the trees," I said.

"I don't; snow will be coming soon and we'll be able to go up to the cottage and play some pond hockey," Claude replied his head in the clouds as he imagined his outdoor game.

I laughed, "It's always about hockey with you."

"Not always. A lot of the time it's about you," he grinned down at me, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

"Aww," I said, "he does have a heart."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Claude demanded.

"I don't know, Captain of the Goon Squad, you tell me," I punched him on the shoulder to emphasize my point.

"Ow, maybe you should be captain," he smirked.

"I'd do better than you," I sassed back.

"You would, but the team wouldn't; they'd be too busy looking at your ass, and frankly, I don't want to share," Claude said matter-of-factly.

"Good, cause I don't want to share you either," I laughed.

"C'mon, we have to get home. We have to pack for the road trip," he kissed my forehead and wrapped his arm around me as we started our journey home.

We would be going on a western conference road trip for the next two weeks and then we would be home for our big rivalry game against Pittsburgh; it would be one hell of a way to come back to the Wells Fargo Center. The boys were much more excited than I was. They loved the Battle of Pennsylvania games and they looked forward to a lot of hitting, scoring, chirping, and hopefully, gloating. I was not fond of those games because it always led to injuries, and if we lost, Claude wouldn't want to talk to me for a week.

We boarded the plane and the guys were buzzing with excitement.  "Hey, Stella!" Matt Read called.

"What's up, Read?"

"The sky," he said with a goofy laugh.

"Shut up, Read, that joke is so old," Brayden Schenn rolled his eyes.

"Like that haircut?" Simmonds suggested without looking up from his PSP.

"Oh, shit, you better get some water, that's gotta burn," Giroux joked.

"Your hair looks like it's burning," Schenn muttered, not on his chirping A-game.

"At least it matches the jersey," I retorted.

The guys laughed and Claude shook his head, "I thought you were on my side."

"I am. I'm just saying, it matches. None of the other guys are that cool," I shrugged.

"Hey!" Voracek said from the back, "I match, too."

"Right, Jakub is as cool as you," I nodded at the right wing behind Claude.

"I like being the cool one," Claude muttered.

"You're my favorite," I whispered to him. Claude placed his hands on my hips and kissed me full on the lips, sliding his tongue into my mouth. 

"Ugh, get a room!" Mason yelled and I laughed against Claude's lips.

"Maybe we will," Claude shot back.

Author's Note

Hey, hey, hockey fans! Sorry for the spotty updates, I'm trying to be as consistent as possible (I'll have another update soon, I promise!). Please vote and comment to let me know what you thought! I LOVE reading what y'all have to say; it makes my day. Thanks to all of y'all for your support, I really appreciate it and I hope you like this story; I've been cooking it up in my brain for a while now ;-)