Ch. 21 - What's Wrong With You?

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< Chapter 21: What's Wrong With You? >


♥ Jamie's POV: ♥

I told Chaz a few days ago that him and the others don't have to do everything with me. This included all the fun activities we do when we hang out, and like how they went bowling the day I heard the news about Justin clubbing on T.V.

As much as I meant that, I couldn't help but feel so left out. My role as a mother has become a lot more evident lately and it's all becoming too much. Not to mention the fact that Justin isn't here with me, which means I have to rely on my friends more. But the fact that they're busy enjoying a child-less life means that they barely have time to help me out with simple things like babysitting anymore. And now I feel more and more like a single mom struggling to raise a baby that's requiring a lot more attention lately.

To make it even worse, I think Hanna's replaced me. She's the one hanging out with my friends instead of me. I guess she's more fun to be around because she doesn't have a baby to hold her back from parties or anything considered 'fun'. I haven't told anyone about her true nature yet, since I'm at a point where I don't know how to handle my current situation.

I also haven't heard from Justin in 11 days now. Since the time Chaz dialed his number and passed the phone to me, I haven't tried calling Justin again. As the days went by, I convinced myself I'd only be a nuisance and that he should be able to keep his focus on what he's doing.

So today, I laid in bed with the television on as I stared at the ceiling and Jason rested on the crib near me. Raising my hand, I look at my engagement ring and I hear a sudden voice in my head.

"Will you marry me?"

I stopped, sucking in air as I felt the gentle pounding of my heart. I lowered my hand to my stomach as Justin's words resonated in my ears.

"I want to marry you.."

His voice was slightly raspy that night, thanks to the alcohol that had been in his system. Would he say the same thing to those girls he's probably been partying with? Or was that really just exclusive to me?

What am I saying? He's told me how much he loves me several times. Why am I having these thoughts?

"I love you."

I imagined him saying those words again, with that smile he always has.

"I love you, Jamie."

I continued to daydream about the things he's said to me in the past.

"You're so beautiful.."

"How many children do you want?"

"I want to raise another child with you."

"Marry me."

"I'm never leaving you, you know."

"I want to make love to you, babe."

"Jamie, I love you."

"You're really worth everything. I wouldn't trade you in for the world."

"Can't wait to see you in a wedding dress."

"I love you, you know that?"

"I'll check up on you tomorrow."

I paused. He said that the night I was at the hospital, and he never did check up on me.

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