thirty-six: morning sunshine
Zayn stands in the kitchen doorway, watching Louis interact with the twins as he tried to convince himself that last night didn't mean anything. He wanted to just say he was vulnerable after his conversation with Robbie, but that didn't mean that he had to sleep with Louis... He could've just stayed home and sulked, but instead he drove the hour long commute to where Louis was... He could've just talked to Louis, but instead he had to tell him how he really felt about Lou. Zayn hadn't told anyone about how he felt for Louis when they were together, mainly because he didn't have very many people to talk to.
Zayn had told Louis he'd fallen in love with him.
And Louis kissed him.
Did that at least mean he felt the same way? Or had Louis just taken advantage of Zayn's emotional state?
"Good morning Sunshine, are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?" Louis' voice makes Zayn jump a little, earning a soft smile from Zayn as he nods. He walks further into the kitchen, pulling up a chair next to Louis and taking the other can of baby food off the table. Zayn helps Louis feed the twins, the activity helping to keep Zayn's mind from going places where it shouldn't. He didn't regret sleeping with Louis last night, it had felt like old times.
Zayn felt whole again. Sure, Robbie made Zayn feel whole too... but Louis was different than Robbie. Louis was the father of his kids...
And Zayn was in love with Louis. Like completely and utterly in love with him. It scared him beyond belief... but he knew it was true.
He just didn't know if Louis had the same view.
So when they finished feeding the twins, Zayn got ready to ask Louis about it. They walk into the front room, Zayn holding Ethan and Louis holding Nathan. Louis places Nathan down on the floor and Zayn does the same before looking at Louis. Louis is smiling happily as he plays with both the twins, you could tell just by looking at them that they all shared a special bond. Zayn couldn't help but wonder if he would ever get that too...
"Lou, about last night..." Zayn starts, unsure of how he was going about this. He didn't regret it, but he didn't know about Louis. Zayn was beginning to wonder if he'd ever know about Louis... even two years ago Louis was a hard person to read... Sometimes Zayn wished Louis was an open book, but at the same time... Louis being a hard person to read made him far more interesting to Zayn. Robbie was an open book, Zayn always knew how Robbie was feeling.
"It was a one time thing right? No strings attached?" Louis asks, looking at Zayn as he asks that. Zayn bites his bottom lip as he looks at Louis.
"Is that what you want?" Zayn's voice is barely over a whisper as he looks at Louis. Louis lets out a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he does so. He's trying really hard not to let Louis see that those words stung far worse than they should've. He had once been the one to say those words and here Louis was using them against him... Was this how Louis felt? All those years ago when Zayn said them... Zayn couldn't help but wonder.
Louis on the other hand was deep in thought... Louis wasn't sure what he wanted... Just a week ago, Zayn was one of the last things on his mind... and now here he was asking what Louis wanted.
and Louis didn't know what he wanted. He wasn't ready to try with Zayn... but part of him was. He wanted to be with Zayn, but he still didn't know if Zayn had actually changed. He had little proof and he wasn't ready to risk getting his heart broken once again.
"Honestly, Zayn... I don't know what I want right now." Louis says, sparing Zayn a quick glance as he speaks. Zayn just nods, letting out a short sigh before standing up from the couch. Zayn felt as if he had overstayed his welcome, it was time for him to leave before he said something stupid.
"I should probably get going, my father will have my head if I'm late for work..." Zayn says, earning a small nod from Louis. He too stands up from the couch, following Zayn to the front door.
"This... This doesn't change anything right? You're still going to try for the boys right?" Louis asks quietly, scared that by sleeping with Zayn he had ruined what they had going on. But then again, Louis wasn't even sure what they had going on.
"It was a one time thing. No strings attached. We were both lonely, nothing else to it." Zayn whispers back, his voice strained as he talked. He wanted to yell at Louis that it was more than that... but he didn't want to push Louis into anything he didn't want.
He wanted Louis to decide what they were.
Not him.
Louis bites down on his bottom lip, trying to get rid of the feeling that he was screwing up right now... So he does what he thinks right, standing on the tips of his toes and kissing Zayn softly on the lips. Zayn doesn't say anything, neither does Louis.
There was nothing more to say.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ha.
double updates.
every day
all day
i cry.
dedication goes to CaspaaaaarLee
I can't think of a question for this chapter... but that's probably cause it's 11:30 lol
so no questiooooon
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Style (zouis mpreg)(book one)
Fanfiction"The world is filled with flashing lights and pretty smiles. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe they were all fake? That's the thing about you and me, we're nothing more than what those flashing lights say we are. We know the truth, but no on...
