Like Catching a Snowflake

Chapter 1 : Hanna

Hanna

I felt as if I was dying. My heart hurt and my head was dizzy. Watching him walk away like that after pushing me down just ripped my heart out. I never expected him to say anything that mean to me. With every word he was tearing my heart out, tearing my heart out with his bare hands. Hot tears stained my face, but I didn’t care. My bottom was frozen from having sat on the ground, but I didn’t care. The only thing that mattered at that moment was that Draco had shattered my heart into a million pieces. Then he took those pieces and stabbed me with them over and over. I felt like I had walked a thousand miles and then been stabbed by the man I thought was my one true love. Apparently, he didn’t love me at all if something as little as my blood status could change his mind that quickly.

“Hanna?”

I heard someone call my name, but I didn’t get up. I didn’t move a muscle. I just wanted to lie there and die. What was my life worth now that Draco Malfoy doesn’t want me anymore? He was the only one for me, and now that I’m not the only one for him, what am I supposed to do?

“Hanna,” said Bella softly as she knelt down beside me. “Why don’t we get you upstairs out of this cold?”

I shook my head. “No, I just want to stay here. Please, leave me.”

“You’ll get sick if you stay out here, Han,” she stroked my hair like a mother would as she said that. “Come on.”

I sighed and nodded. Her hands were warm against my skin as she helped me up. Her palm against my palm was the only sense of comfort that I had for however long I was sitting out there. All I knew was that it was now dark and snow had started to fall.

“You were right, Bella,” I whispered to her as we slowly walked in.

“I was right about what?” she asked, her grip tightening on me.

“Draco is one of them. He’s been keeping this from me the whole time we were dating,” as I said it the tears started all over again. “Aren’t you going to ask me what happened?”

She shook her head. “Not until we’re back in the dorm.”

I nodded as she helped me up all the stairs that it took to get to the Gryffindor tower and then up to our dorm. I crashed into my bed, not even caring if my clothes were all wet. I just wanted to curl up into a small ball and cry myself to sleep. Everything hurt too badly. I felt the weight of Bella sitting on my bed, but I didn’t look at her. I felt her stroking my hair and heard her crying.

“Hanna,” she said softly.

It brought on a whole new wave of tears as I thought about how Draco used to say my name. He would always say it with such delicacy as if he was afraid of abusing it. He would also say it almost every time before he told me that he loved me, which was another lie of his. If he loved me, he wouldn’t have broken things off with me like that.

“What happened down there Hanna? I saw Draco walking back in, and I instantly knew that something had happened,” she said, her warm tears falling into my hair. “Hanna?”

“He doesn’t want me anymore,” I replied. “He wants me to stay away from him because…”

I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word. The word he used was just hurt too bad. I hated that he used that word. I was so shocked when he said it. He had never talked to me like that before. I was frightened the whole time, frightened that he would break things off with me, but I thought that at the very least he would have the common courtesy to tell me the truth about him being a deatheater, but instead I found a whole new side to him. His parents instilled that prejudice into him well, too well maybe.

“Because…?” she prompted, but I shook my head.

I didn’t want to say it. I didn’t want others to know what a…dick he was being to me because no one has ever known him to be one to me. Not in all the five and a half months that we dated. He was the only one for me. He had been the only one for me. What happened in his mind like that to make him snap? He had never laid a hand on me before, and just that night, he pushed me onto the ground. Something wasn’t right. This couldn’t have been his fault.

But why did it hurt so badly?

“Hanna…” Bella whispered before getting up.

I sat up and looked at her through my swollen eyes. She quickly changed from her wet, dirty clothes into a pair of jeans, a plaid shirt, and her favorite high heeled boots, where she stuck her wand. She gave me one last look before heading out the door.

“Wait! Bella!” I yelled, chasing her to the door, but she was already down the steps and halfway across the common room. Where was she going?

“Hanna? What happened?” Hermione Granger asked as she was walking from upstairs. “Was this Draco?”

I sneered at her. “That would be my business!” I shouted before closing the door and sliding down to the floor with my back against the door.

I pulled my knees to my chest and my head onto my knees. Nothing was right. Draco wouldn’t have said those things on his own. I know for a fact that he wouldn’t have. A flash of how mean and serious he looked when he pushed me flashed through my head. My Draco…could never be like that, but he was.