Moments (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 18

Zanessa's POV

I checked out the time on my phone, it was already 10:45 in the evening as mom and I had just hopped inside a train trip back to Cheshire after we finished that said appointment of mine. I felt relief after it and I realized this out of town trip —though it just in 4 to 5 hour trip— was really worth it though half of my thoughts since earlier was on Styles siblings' party. I wish I was there too.

I sat next to the window, enjoying the beautiful London at night.

I just shoved my phone in my hoddie's pocket when it beeped so I pulled it out and checked. A picture message?!

I pressed open and I was dumbfounded on what I've seen.

A picture of Harry ... kissing a girl?! What the fuck?!

I knew right then that the lad was Harry but I couldn't recognize the girl. Who was she?! I wanted to freak the fuck out inside the train but I couldn't, I felt numb rather. I wanted to burst out crying but the tears in my eyes wouldn't just stream down on my face.

Harry?! You just break my heart, idiot!

I frozed for a moment just like a manequin, my thumb was on the zoom button and as I looked at it, my mind was screaming to zoom it  and so I did. Stupid of me because I knew that I would just be hurt if I will keep on staring at that photo but I couldn't help it.

Harry was kissing a girl, seemed like they're eating each other's face while his hands were on the either sides of the girl's upper arms and the girl's hands were on my boyfriend's chest.

Bullshit! I murmured to myself but loud enough for my Mom to hear it. She looked at me, one brow raising at me. "Don't mind me, mom. This is nothing."

I stared at my phone's screen then and it beeped once again. Another picture message from the same unknown sender. I just pressed open frustratingly again and forced myself to look at the other picture of them. This time, he was carrying the girl. To his house?!

Fuck! This is fucking too much! How could he do this to me?!

Tears freely started to fall down my cheeks but I wiped them off carefully so my mom wouldn't notice her daughter crying. I didn't know what else to think, to say. T'was just too much that I could breakdown anytime soon. Harry just owned me a huge one!

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I went straight to my room, smashing the door close behind me while I started to cry.

I opened the first-aid cabinet on the bathroom and looked for something. I took it out and unwrapped it. A blade. I knew that self-harming isn't a great answer for this but I thought it was the only way I could emotionally lessen my feelings that time.

As I held that silver sharp thing, I placed it at the top of my wrist. I counted one up to three before I sliced it on into my skin —not too deep but I got enough pressure to it. I thought I had cut it deep enough as the blood started to flow out but I wasn't contented. I slid the blade under the first cut and it felt good though it hurt. I threw away the blade in th sink and wrapped my bleeding wrist with a towel. I rushed inside the bathtub and took a quick bath. The fresh cuts were badly aching every time a water or soap would drop on them but I control myself for crying over these cuts.

I exited the bathroom after. Since I felt perfectly frustrated and broken, I jumped onto my bed first face.

I just need to rest.

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I woke up at 8:45 in the morning. Too early to start my weekend but whatever. I fixed myself for about 20 minutes before I went out of my room. Since it was fine outside, I went jogging.