It's Just Ann

Chapter 38 - Pride

I stay on that seat for what seems a lifetime when in fact it's just half hour. It's a pitiful sight and at some point a waitress comes up to me to ask me if I'm okay or if I'd like some water. That's what makes me snap out and text Teru to pick me up.

It's finally over and even if it feels like there's a whole in the middle of my chest, I have to leave this place and go to the hospital. I need to see Father and report to him. I need to keep working. In all honesty, I don't have time to be heartbroken, there's so much more on my plate and I can't make that wait.

It hurts so much, but it's been hurting for quite a while already. Funnily enough, I'm kind of used to this. I've been rejected many times by the same man. What's the difference in a third, or fourth time? I don't even know anymore.

I decide to follow Gareth's example and cover myself in ice. I freeze the pain, the heartbreak and the misery I feel just so I can focus on what really matters. I'm young, after all, and first love doesn't mean only love. One day I might fall in love again, or maybe someone will fall for me and fight for me, court me and make me feel loved. I don't know what the future holds, but my present doesn't have room for romance anymore and I should've realised that sooner and spare me the hurt now.

By the time Teru calls me telling me he and Aaron are waiting outside, I've wiped the tears and calmed down, I've pushed the pain back and focused on what matters. I've gotten my heart broken before, by the same man, and the world has not stopped in any of those times, it certainly won't stop now.

I join Teru at the backseat of the car, greeting Aaron with a polite nod. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the rearview mirror and I look okay, it barely seems like I've been crying and if someone asks, I can just say it's the lack of sleep, the exhausting meeting and stressful situation. No one will find out I was dumped, yet again.

"Your father is waiting, I've informed him we're on our way," Teru tells me, his eyes scanning emails on his iPad. "Did it go well with Mr Maddox? Are you okay?" he asks next, surprising me with the little glimpse he steals at me, as if he could exactly see I'm not okay, that I'm just putting things on hold until I have time to feel.

"I am perfectly okay," I reply out loud. Or I will be, I add in my head, looking outside the window.

Teru doesn't push me for more information and I'm thankful for that. He knows how to respect your space and can understand when you don't want to talk about something. He's such a wonderful person, reliable and stable. I'm glad he's always next to Father.

We make it to the hospital and although all I've felt since Gareth left me is cold, I'm starting to sweat now, getting nervous. Things went well, I have only good news to report, yet I'm anxious. That is why I walk inside the room with my head low, unable to meet Father's eyes, and bowing deeply when I'm near enough.

"Ann-chan, I'm glad you're here. Please, come sit by my side," he calls, his voice a lot louder and stronger than days ago. Hesitantly, I comply and go sit next to him. I barely notice the nod he gives Mum for her to leave us alone, which only makes me more nervous. "How did it go? Teru said you wanted to tell me yourself."

"Hai," I reply in Japanese, but then switching immediately back to English. "It went well. Mr O'Connors wasn't happy, but realised his investment was in good hands and that the production only promised to give him profits."

"Of course," Father states calmly, as if he didn't have a doubt regarding that.

"I don't want to deal with him ever again. As a human being, I can't respect him," I inform father, feeling a bit ashamed of my words but I can't lie. "His opinions and ways to deal with business are unethical and offensive."