It's Just Ann

Chapter 33 - Unfair

         I guess things have changed between the two of us already, and I supposed it couldn't be helped. It is awkward and uncomfortable, the conversation doesn't flow like it used to.

On my end, I'm too aware it's Gareth the one sitting across from me, the guy I'm trying so hard to get over, the same boy who knows how I feel about him even if I haven't said a thing about it, and who has rejected me twice already. It scares me that whatever I say might make it even more obvious and it would make him feel uncomfortable. I can't even meet his eyes, I'm too focused on the food I've absentmindedly ordered.

On Gareth's end, I have no idea what is happening but he is also weird. Instead of focusing on his food or anything else, his eyes are on me. I can feel his stare, hot and heavy, making me blush even if I don't meet his eyes. But even if he stares, he doesn't say anything and the silence is making me sweat, in that bad, cold, nervous kind of sweat.

"So," I say at the same time Gareth opens his mouth with the same word. "You go first," I immediately add. I didn't really have something to comment on, I was jut hoping to break the ice, but I rather leave that to him.

"Oh, nothing in particular. I just wanted to know if you meet them often, that's all. Your Oxford friends," Gareth asked.

"Oh, well, lately not that often. I've been so busy I can't meet them and as they are studying they don't have that much time, either. But I try to meet them as often as I can, besides, they always call and ask if I have a few minutes free. When I can, I drop by the bookshop Ella works at, Charlie is normally there, studying with her. I can't always stay for too long, though, which is a pity."

"Only Ella works? What about Charlie? Doesn't he have a job or so?"

"Nope," I reply. "His family is quite wealthy so he doesn't need to, he uses his free time to study or hang out with Ella. She doesn't need to work either, her family own this retreat centre for celebrities. Maybe you know about it? Anyways, she works because she likes books and wanted to be more independent, that's all."

"Oh, I see. And you said both study medicine? They surely need to study a lot, uh? Probably, it's harder to meet and such," Gareth commented next.

"I would think the same, but I believe both are so clever they don't struggle that much. Yes, they study, but I have never seen them stressed or drying with all what they have to do. They seem to manage so well. And Charlie helps Ella with everything she doesn't understand. She told me the other time he was the best student in most of their classes."

"Oh," Gareth mumbled, a sound that rings with annoyance. "Isn't he the perfect catch? Future doctor, good family and extremely intelligent. You hit jackpot there, uh?"

I'm impressed because since I met Gareth I have never heard him talking like that, it's ironic, almost mocking the way his voice gets to me. Even his expression shows disdain, his eyes aren't cold but annoyed. Anyone would say he's jealous, but why is he like that? He rejected me twice, he has no right to be. It's not that he can't, maybe he is, but that's low of him. He's made clear nothing will happen between us, he's pushed me to forget my crush on him and move on, so why would he feel jealous? Why would he want me forever hanging on to him and such? That's cruel. I don't want to believe he would be like that. Whether it's Charlie or someone else, I am free to like whomever I want, I don't owe him my undying love.

"I think that's why my mum likes him so much. She keeps saying he's such a good catch, and so does Cece. Besides, he's a good guy. He makes me laugh and tries to help me, even if it means it's unfair for him," I say, getting angry at Gareth right now, feeling disappointed in him.

He tenses, I can notice it. His face hardens and his eyes become cold ice.

"It seems everyone supports the two of you, uh?" Gareth mumbles, digging his fork in his plate, stabbing his food.