It's Just Ann

Chapter 34 - Drunk Habits

          Although it's party time, I still have to work a bit. It's not that hard, it's just networking, but it is still important. Having good connections is key in this industry. And surprisingly, Gareth is next to me the whole time, greeting the same people I do, even providing occasional smiles that startle the people around. He's probably acting, or maybe a bit tipsy. Gareth, it seems, isn't good at holding his alcohol.

I tell him it isn't necessary that he follows me everywhere, but he just shakes his head and mumbles something like, "I'm not letting you get out of my sight."

At some point, Cece comes to my side when Gareth needs to use the loo. He looks too excited even for someone who's been only dancing and drinking.

"How's it going?" he asks me immediately. "Did he ask you out? Confess? Begged for forgiveness for the way he's treated you? Tell me he got on his knees."

I only blink in confusion, not only because he's talking way too fast, but also for the things he's saying. "Pardon? Cece, don't say nonsense. Why would he even do that?"

"Girl, you're blind. Okay, not blind but in strong denial, and yes, I understand why and all that, but seriously? The boy has been sulking the past few days because he thinks you're dating Charlie! He's clearly jealous, which means he likes you back."

"Cece," I say as calmly as I can. "Don't mess with my head. Don't put there thoughts that will only give me hopes. I've had enough, I don't want to be this foolish again."

"Ann, I'm serious. If that boy hasn't realised himself he's crazy for you, then he's an idiot and you should really move on. But that he likes you, he likes you."

I look away, dying to believe him but I can't afford that. If I get hopes again, then they'll be crushed. I don't think Gareth's intention or perspective of life has changed. He said once that even if he liked someone, he wouldn't pursue anything. Even if Cece was right and Gareth liked me back, then he wouldn't do anything about it. Wouldn't it be more frustrating knowing he likes me back and knowing nothing will happen? Like, what do I do with that knowledge? It's better if I think he does not feel like that, it'll give me motivation to move on.

"Cece, let's not talk about this. If you knew Gareth a little bit of how much I know him, you'd know he would never do such a thing." Cece can't argue that, because he knows I'm right. Even if Gareth were madly in love with me, he wouldn't do anything.

"What if you do something about it? If he's going to reject you, make him do it properly. Confess to him, tell him your feelings, corner him." I gasp, too shocked with what he's proposed because even if I am very aware of my feelings and I would like to pursue something with Gareth, I doubt I have the confidence to do something of the like. Only confessing scares me, because even when I haven't said a thing, his rejections have hurt so much.

"You want me to cry, is that what you want?" I exclaim, getting worked up for no apparent good reason.

"What's going on?" And of course Gareth decides to join us at that right moment, hearing the last bit of our conversations, standing next to me protectively as if he could stop any harm, when it's him the one that's broken my heart.

I think I've become quite sour about this situation.

"We were just joking, nothing serious," I say, grabbing his arm to make him stand back.

I think I'm just seeing things, but there's an animosity between Cece and Gareth. I do understand from Cece's part, because he's been with me every time my heart has been broken, but Gareth also looks defiant and pissed at my best friend. Something inside me tells me I have to separate these two before it gets serious.