missing | gilinsky

34

Jack Johnson

It wasn't supposed to go this way. When I talked to Justin he told me which hotel Hannah was staying at and what room she'd be in, he didn't mention anything about Gilinsky or my sister being there. 

A lot of shit has happened between Justin and me, but I would never expect him to lie to me about something so little. 

The reason I wanted to see Hannah first was because I knew she'd wouldn't expect anything from me. She'd be surprised so see me and yeah, she'd wanna know what was going on but she wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I was also sort of hoping for a kiss but that was a long stretch. 

My feelings for Hannah haven't gone away since I've been in New York. I really hope me leaving didn't cause her to move on or anything like that, I'd be devastated. 

As soon as I saw Hannah I knew coming to see her was a good choice, she looked so pretty and the way she kept cursing drove me crazy. 

But then Nadia and Gilinsky stumble in the room and I start to doubt the decisions I made. Maybe seeing Hannah could've waited. I could've texted her, I had her number memorized and I did have a new phone. I memorized a lot of people's numbers, not just Hannah's. I know Mom's, Nadia's, Gilinsky's, and...Dad's. All of them by heart. 

The minute I caught sight of my best friend and my sister I panicked. I had no speech planned out, I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to say. It's not like there's a book for dummies that tells you how to tell your friends and family where the hell you've been hiding for the past couple months. I can't imagine what Nadia was thinking when she first saw me, probably something similar to what Hannah was. 

I knew Gilinsky was surprised to see me but I knew it wasn't as a big deal to him as it was to Hannah and Nadia. I mean, Gilinsky knew way more about where I've been than those two did. Sure, no one truly knows where I went after Justin bailed me out of jail and told me to get away for a while, but I'm sure Gilinsky had some ideas. Or maybe he didn't.

Anyway, I was just stuck in a rut and I acted like a jackass. Not really the best way to greet your sister after not seeing her since your nineteenth birthday, but it's not like I can change that now. I told her what was up with me, why I was being an idiot, I hope she can understand. 

I've been through a lot of shit, even after the whole Justin having to bail me out thing. Justin and I have a pretty rocky relationship, but I think it's safe to say that we trust each other to an extent. I know he's told lies about me but that's okay, because I haven't been completely honest with him anyway. 

The night Justin bailed me out he handed me a huge wad of money and told me to get out of the city for a while. I obliged. He told me to go to Philly to somewhere like that. I said okay. But really, I went back to Omaha.

I thought Nadia and Hannah were still there, but when I got back here, Justin had told me Gilinsky had brought them here to come find me. I laughed at the thought, but he insisted that he was serious. Then I remembered how I didn't see my sister or her best friend once while I was staying there, although it's not like I went looking for them, it was still odd.

I did see my Mom a couple times in the grocery store. It took everything in me not to run up to her. She looked so sad and broken. My stomach clenched every time I looked at her. I went to go hide in the frozen food section and I didn't even feel how cold it had been until Mom left.

I didn't go back home or anything like that, I stayed in a hotel. Sometimes I'd think about stopping by and saying hey to Mom, but then I know how she'd never let me leave after that. A part of me wouldn't even want to leave, especially after seeing how upset she'd been while shopping.

I also thought about seeing Sammy, but I feel like he'd have an obligation to tell my Mom, or even try to talk me into staying and going to college with him. 

College was something I stopped thinking about the second I got to New York. Everything I was getting involved in was so much bigger than that. I wouldn't call it a gang, but that's basically what I was apart of. That's why when Justin showed up and took me under his wing I did everything he told me to. 

I stole, I fought, I sometimes even drugged. I know, it sounds really bad, but he'd told me all those people and businesses deserved what they were getting. Of course at the time I believed him. I mean, after he mentioned my Dad and helping me find out who killed him, I was all in. That's all he had to say and I would probably kill someone for him. I haven't done that yet. I hope I don't have to. 

When Dad died I made sure to never forget how, and I made it my personal mission to find out who did it. I knew it was a drunk driver, and that's what pissed me off. I had to find this guy, I needed to know who he or even she was.

After the night of the accident I stopped paying attention in school and stopped going to class. I stopped hanging out with my friends and even stopped talking to Nadia and Mom. Hannah was completely out of the picture for a while. 

All I did, all day everyday, was research. I searched names of drunk drivers, I searched pictures of crashes, I searched police reports. I investigated so much and still never found anything. That's what triggered me to leave. That's what made me need to get out of there. Out of Omaha.

I planned the whole thing out over about a month I think, I reached out to Gilinsky and he agreed to let me live with him. I was so thankful. 

Gilinsky and I were close for a while, then I started hanging out with Justin and he kept distance, I still don't know why. Everyone else in the gang worshiped him, but G just stayed away. When he found out I'd gotten arrested for something Justin did he was furious. He even came down to the station looking for me, but I told the guards I didn't want any visitors. We haven't seen each other since then. 

I had no idea he'd been looking for me and I had no idea he got Nadia and Hannah in on it. There's so much that I've missed while I was gone and I need to find out. I want to sit down and have a talk with all three of them at the same time but I don't know how well that'd go down. They have a right to know what was and is going on with me but I'm not sure I'm ready to talk yet.

They've been ready to talk for ages, and I just wanna hear about their stories, I don't wanna tell mine. 

That's why, when Nadia finally lets me go to sleep, I'm sure to cherish every moment of rest that I get, because I know by morning none of this will be the same. 

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Hola!!! sorry for the sort of crummy chapter but you guys should really get a feel for what Johnson's actually going through and stuff like that. I hope you liked it!

I think I'm going to try to update every weekend because it's impossible for me to update during the week. I have cross country and school and I'm in my hardest year of high school. I also have meets every weekend so I'm pretty busy then too, but I managed to update today so yay!!

anywaayyy don't forget to vote and comment if you'd like and chapter 35 will be up soon!

- gilinskyshigh