missing | gilinsky

25

Hannah props her feet up on the back of the driver seat's headrest and sighs. "What's taking them so long? This is really stupid."

I nod my head in agreement. This is really stupid. And I'm really annoyed.

I thought I could trust Jack, but apparently I can't. Suddenly, I think about how good kissing him felt and get disgusted with myself for even thinking for one minute that that would happen again. He probably doesn't even like me, I should've known better. He probably didn't even bring me here to look for my brother, he just wanted to mess with me. What a turd. I turn to get out of Nate's car when I hear a knock on the window.

"Finally," Hannah breathes, leaning forward to open the car door so Jack can get in. She hands him Nate's keys and slides her feet off the headrest.

Jack stays silent while putting the key in the ignition. He tries to make eye contact with me but I look away. I will not give him the satisfaction.

"Are we not waiting for Nate?" Hannah asks, buckling her seat belt. I buckle mine too and catch Jack staring at me through the rearview mirror. I tell myself not to stare back, I tell myself a million times to just keep my eyes locked outside the window but in the end Jack wins. I can't help but glare at him. He clenches his jaw and his eyes grow sad. It's almost as if he's saying sorry to me without even saying it. But no, I won't fall for it. I sink down in my seat and pull out my phone.

I texted my mom when I woke up this morning but I haven't texted Sam for a while so I decide to fill him in on what's going on.

We haven't found him yet

Don't worry you will

Idk Sam...

Wdym??

idk it's just jack's friend nate is being all weird and there's this guy justin who idek where tf he came from and then there's jack who's keeping sooo many secrets from hannah and me and i'm getting tired of it

Okay wait slow down a little lol but what's the problem?

I just told you!! I'm not too fond of Nate, there's a random guy named Justin and Jack's being a bitch!

Aw so you and Gilinsky got into a fight, that's what's bothering you.

No! It's about not finding Jack bc of him.

I know that's part of why you're upset but what you mentioned has nothing to with finding your bro...it's obviously more than that.

I curse myself for not thinking before I hit send. I guess a part of me hates thinking about not being able to trust Jack but I mean what else am I supposed to do? He's keeping way too much from me. I know he knows more than he's letting on and he's not making it easy to go to him with things. He's acting too mysterious and yeah a lot of girls find that attractive but I hate not knowing what I'm getting myself into.

The sound of the car door opening and slamming shut brings me back into reality. I lock my phone and put it away as I watch Nate slide into the passenger seat. He looks at Jack then looks down at his lap. Jack doesn't even acknowledge him, he just starts the car and drives away, leaving Johnny's in the distance.

Something went down in that bar after Hannah and I left and I'm dying to figure out why but I know that's not even a possibility.

As we drive back to Nate's apartment I can't help but think about how different things are going to be between Jack and I. I know he can tell that I'm angry with him but I have no idea what he's going to do with that information. Knowing him he'll either confront me about it or ignore it completely. I hate how there's always two sides to him. I hate never knowing what to expect with him.

But when I think about it that's why I love about him. What I used to love about him. Now it just makes me want to scream.

Jack

Just as I suspected Nadia is infuriated with me. Of course. Fucking Justin. As soon as we pull up to the apartment complex Nadia bolts out the door. Hannah follows suit, laughing. She thinks it's a race. If anything it's a race to get away from me.

Nate furrows his eyebrows and gives me a look. I shrug, taking the key out of the ignition and handing it to him. A part of me is relieved that Nate came out to his car, another part of me is worried that maybe he only came because he made some sort of deal with Justin.

I try not to think too much of it, but it still lingers in the back of my mind by the time we get to his front door. Nadia and Hannah are standing there, waiting for us. Well, waiting for Nate to unlock the door so they can get in.

I stare down at my feet as Nate passes the girls and opens the door. He walks right in, letting the door almost slam on their faces. That makes me mad and usually I'd say something but not today. I don't know if Nadia looks at me before going inside because I don't dare look up, but I can feel Hannah's eyes on me. She's not moving.

"What's up?" She asks, leaning against the door frame.

My eyes find hers. "Nothing?"

She shakes her head. "You're so full of shit."

"Nadia's mad at me."

"No shit she's mad at you, I'm a little annoyed too, I mean what's going on? With Johnson."

I feel my face start to heat up, getting a little embarrassed that I thought Hannah was trying to comfort me. I'm such an idiot. "I don't know."

"If you want Nadia to forgive you for all this bullshit you're gonna have to water down your ego," Hannah says before walking away.

I stand all alone in the hallway, stunned. Water down my ego? I didn't even know I had an ego to "water down". What did that even mean? How does one water down an ego? I grumble and groan to myself, sticking my head into Nate's apartment. I find him sitting on the couch watching TV. The girls are probably in their room.

"I'm going out for a bit."

Nate doesn't even look away from the screen. "Cool."

Closing the door behind me I stalk out of the building. I let my legs take me down the block, not really knowing where I'm going to end up. I need to think without anyone interrupting me.

I used to do this all the time before I left for Omaha, sometimes Johnson would come with me. Fuck, I really miss that kid. He wasn't a bad guy, he doesn't deserve this shit.

I run my fingers through my hair, tears welling up in my eyes. I rarely ever cried, but I've been so emotional lately. I hate this. I need an outlet. That's how I found myself walking to The Den. I'm about to get into a heap load of trouble but at least I won't be thinking about fucked up my life has been for the past two years, although I'm about to make even fuckier.

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yo yo yooooo, sorry for a short chapter but I'm having fam over today so I won't really be able to update so I just wanted to get a quick chapter in! feel free to comment and vote if you'd like!

- gilinskyshigh