missing | gilinsky

12

As soon as Jack left my place I called Hannah to tell her the news. I didn't even have to ask her to come help me pack, she raced over right away. 

"You're really going with him?" She asks, pulling a bunch of random shirts off the hangers in my closet and throwing them at me. 

"Who else would I go with?" I counter, shoving the shirts in my suitcase. I hate packing but it's something I'm not going to be able to avoid. I have today and tomorrow then I'm out of here. 

"Uh, I don't know? Me?" Hannah sasses. 

I turn to her, a look of confusion plastered on my face. "You want to go too?" I had no idea Hannah would be the least bit upset that I didn't invite her to come to New York with Jack and me. 

Hannah shrugs. "I mean, I don't know." 

I roll my eyes and grab a pair of shorts she holds in her hands, placing them in my suitcase next to the shirts. "You do know."

"Okay, maybe I want to go too."

"But why? We're just going to look for Jack."

"Who said I didn't wanna look for Jack? You're not the only one who misses him ya'know." 

I'm taken back by the harshness in Hannah's voice. Whoa. Where the hell did that come from? I didn't know she cared this much about finding my brother.

"I never said anything about me being the only one who misses him," I retaliate. "I just didn't think you'd want to come is all."

Hannah looks down at her hands, not bothering to help me pack anymore. "Why wouldn't I want to come? Jack was my friend too as much as he was your brother." 

"You're right," I mutter, not wanting to get into a whole fight with my friend. I try to think of a time where Hannah and Jack just hung out the two of them, but nothing comes to mind. Did they have some kind a secret thing I didn't know about? What is it with Hannah and sneaking around with guys named Jack? 

"It's just - you didn't ask Sam either. What if he wants to go?"

"Hannah, this isn't supposed to be some big field trip we all go on. It's not necessarily supposed to be fun," I start. "I didn't invite anyone else because Jack asked me to come. I'm sorry if you and Sam feel left out."

"I don't get you at all, Nadia, no wonder why Gilinsky is always getting mad at you."

I throw the last pair of shorts I'm holding into my bag and glare up at Hannah. Why is she getting so defensive? "Excuse me?"

"Nothing," she murmurs, folding her arms across her chest. I hate when she gets like this. 

"No, humor me, why is Gilinsky always getting mad at me?" I demand

I watch Hannah's facial expression change from annoyed to very, very angry. I brace myself for what she's about to say. 

"You never think about anyone but yourself!" She shouts. "It's always about you, everything is always about you! And you always look way too deep into things it's so frustrating! I miss Jack too, Sammy misses Jack too, your mom misses Jack too! Hell, Gilinsky misses Jack too! We all miss him, Nadie, we all want to find him - just let us do it with you without freaking out about it!" 

I keep my mouth shut after Hannah finishes screaming, taking in everything she just said. I'm trying to come up with a good response about how I don't just think about myself, but I cant even think of one. I start to feel horrible. Am I really that selfish? 

"Hannah, I'm sorry," I say, closing my eyes. "I know everyone misses him and not just me. I know I've been selfish. I'm not good at dealing with things like this."

"Yeah we all kind of noticed," Hannah says, her voice ten times lower than it was five seconds prior.

"You can come to New York. Both you and Sammy can come." 

Hannah cracks a smile. "Sorry for going all bitch mode on you."

"No, don't be sorry, I needed that." 

"Let's get back to packing," Hannah breathes, opening up another one of my drawers. 

"Wait, there's no way you guys are being legit," Sammy says, rolling around on Hannah's floor. He's playing with a sundress that she had dropped while packing her bag with clothes.

"Gimme that," she orders, snatching it out of Sam's hands. She puts it gently in her suitcase.

"We're being legit, Sam," I tell him, spinning around on Hannah's desk chair. 

"You guys are going to New York the day after tomorrow with Jack Gilinsky to look for Jack Johnson?" He asks all in one breath. 

"Pretty much," I say. "Are you in or what?"

"Hell yeah I'm in!" Sam announces. "Who's buying my plane ticket?"

Hannah laughs. "You're kidding, right?" 

"Dude, those things are like four-hundred dollars," Sam complains. "How do you guys have that kind of money?"

"Jack's paying for mine," I say, causing Hannah and Sam both look at me like I have three heads. "What?"

"Jack Gilinsky is paying four-hundred dollars for his ticket and four-hundred for yours?" Sam asks, astonished. 

"Why do you say his full name like that? Just call him Jack or even by his last name like Hannah does," I say, ignoring his question. Is it really that big of a deal? I mean, I know it's a lot of money. I told him I'd pay for my own and that I really didn't feel comfortable him paying for me but he said he was going to and that was the end of that conversation. 

"You guys might as well be married," Sammy jokes.

"You're just jealous no one will pay for your ticket," I say.

"My mom is paying for mine, she says it's coming out of my birthday and Christmas money, but I couldn't care less," Hannah admits. 

"Damn, I really am on my own aren't I?"

"You'll figure it out," I assure him. "And if you don't, you can always have my job down at the pool."

"Wow." Sam pretends to be excited. "Get a job at a public pool for the rest of the summer instead of going to New York City with my friends! How fun!"

Hannah and I laugh as she puts one last shirt in her suitcase before zipping it up. 

This trip may be fun after all - and who knows, maybe at the end of it I'll have my brother back.

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hey bbs! hope you enjoyed this lil chapter! i say this at the end of every chapter but imma keep reminding you all, don't be afraid to comment any questions or suggestions and feel free to vote! love you all and thanks for reading,

-gilinskyshigh