Broken, Flawed & Living (Discontinued)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Funny.

I slept on the bed of my ex while he himself took the floor of his room. Instead of him, I should've been down there given the situation of our relationship – and this was his damn room, at that. We were now simple to each other. Simple and good and friends before the daring kiss. Still trying to get past how the road of our relationship curved so suddenly.

Thinking about it now, actually, made me wish it turn run itself off the road. But what was I to do about it? Maybe we could work it out, but not as boyfriends. Working things out while being together would've been quite damaging to chance understanding and helping himself out. He had priorities of his own to set straight and I being tied to his problems would break the construction he worked so hard on – for all these years that very construction had been delayed and broken and reworked and now it seemed like he got back on track.

It was better this way anyhow. We could explore the depths of our friendship like Chris and Tori had done since they were kids. We could laugh and hug and feel comfortable around each other without being dragged down the attraction we've had for each other. We could be close without anything being the way of it. Then maybe... if we were still single in the near future, because I knew without a doubt that man did things to my heart and mind and dick for that matter that I couldn't deny, we could be something more.

Something better. Like a whole new start. A reboot, for a better word. But, I mean... if we weren't, then that be fine. Who knows what kind of man I'd get during or after College? And who'd I'd become and who's Chance become then.

He wore different eyes than the ones encasing me in the mysterious appeal at first. His body spoke a different language, becoming foreign to my own and everyone else'/ His entire character went all Hollywood instead of being a part of the real world. And now all that was breaking down on him and he began understanding how much he affected others by doing weed. Hoped he knew I knew. It wasn't much hard figuring out considering the faint smell wrinkled my nose. Did he really think the winter breeze could wash it all away? It clearly did him no good in the mind either but just slowing it down and calming the broken nerves these years cut.

For why I never bothered asking him about it either was because I figured, and believed, things would turn out different. That he'd stop and confess and realize how things around him changed when he went on it. Besides, how foolish would it be if I got mad at him for it like I did with Leone? It was a legal substance here and while I hated it, I couldn't pressure others into the same views of mine. And I couldn't afford following in the footsteps of my past relationship with Leone – with how much he pissed me off smoking weed.

Rolling over to the edge, my eyes trained on the might husky. He laid in peace, for once in his life again, one makeshift bed crafted – just a pillow and a few thick blankets laying around the house. Another funny thing hit my mind was how in the world this man could sleep in just shorts. Nothing covered his torso. He slept naked, in a sense, on the floor and it was winter! Like, why was that a thing? How was that a thing? I was up here freezing under his blanket and he was down there sleeping as if it was summer outside.

Like, honestly, what in the world?

Somewhat like his son, Arthur did the same as far as I knew. Sometimes people get hungry, Tori and I, and we must crave snacks late at night. But instead of baring his meatier torso, he opted for a tank top. And like Chance, Shane followed suit. So... here came my hypothesis... are these McClain men even human? I was glad and am glad Tori strayed far from the men in the family, even if she strayed far from normal.

However, as the mighty husky shifted in his sleep, this whole thing left me thinking. Leone carried the same character and personality he presented since a kid – a bit more grown and mature, as he could get as and teenager. The one defining thing about him was Kayla behind the helm of his slightly altered attitude and behavior. So how in the world did weed become the driving force of his entire character? From a calm, collected man who stressed over many things to a man whose assertiveness and douchebaggery brought a whole new atmosphere to the group. Why couldn't psychology give me these answer?!