I'm Not Okay ☞ Stylinson

Chapter 10

~Harry's POV~

A couple of weeks have passed and Louis and Niall have constantly been around each other. They hang out alone a lot and I'm not gonna lie, it hurts. I knew this would happen.

Even when we all hang out together, they barely talk to me. I guess they just finally realized that I'm nothing. I hate myself and I bet that now, they do too.

I'm in gym class now and I can't wait for it to end. We needed partners and they immediately picked each other. Like always, I was left alone and unwanted.

Once everyone finished pairing up, the coach added me to a random group. The guys on my team were tall and muscular. When I stood behind them, they looked at me as if I had two heads. One of the guys chuckled and pointed at me as he nudged his friend to get his attention. I knew it was because of how fat and disgusting I looked compared to them.

For the remainder of the class, they ignored my existence and I tried my best to block out the laughs and giggles coming from the other side of the room. They looked at me a few times during the period but every time they did, I would notice and look back at them. They always moved their eyes directly to the other and pretended that they weren't just staring.

I didn't feel up for going to the cafeteria and sitting alone so I just went in, got my lunch and then left the room. Students weren't allowed in the library during lunch so I settled for the bathroom stall. It smelt like dirty cleaning supplies and air freshener in here, but at least I wasn't surrounded by people who are disgusted by the fact that I breathe.

I stared at the pasta that sat on my plate and swirled my fork around. I wasn't really hungry anymore, I lost my appetite. I didn't need the extra calories anyway.

During my next class, whenever the teacher turned around, Louis or Niall threw crumpled pieces of paper at me or my desk. I saw writing on all of them but didn't feel like reading it.

When the class ended, they asked me what was wrong and why I haven't been around lately. I shrugged in reply and said that I had to go. They didn't care so why were they asking?

I walked into an empty classroom and shut the door. I knew I would get in trouble because next period had already started but I didn't care. I paced back and forth and anxiously pulled at my hair.

Louis just texted me and invited me over later on tonight. I didn't know what to do, I don't think I can handle being around them anymore. Especially Louis. Whenever they're near me, all I can think about is all of the reasons why I'm not good enough for them.

I ignored the text and hoped that he would forget. I've been trying to avoid them so that I wouldn't have to deal with the bad thoughts anymore than I already do.

I wanted to go home and sleep my life away so that exactly what I was going to do. When I reached the door, I turned the knob but it wouldn't open. I tried a few more times but it still didn't work. I tilted my head so that I could see through the window on the door and saw that the same two guys from gym were standing outside laughing.

I looked back at the doorknob to see why it wasn't opening and when I got a better look, I saw that they jammed it with something.

I knocked on the glass and waved so that they would see me but they turned their heads and ignored it. I called for them to let me out but it seemed like the louder I screamed, the further away they were.

I leaned my back against the door and tightly gripped on to my curls. What the hell was I suppose to do now? The hallway was empty and when classes ended, no one would be able to hear my voice over the sounds of lockers slamming shut and people talking.